


home is in your arms

by whatledtothis



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty Øne Piløts
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 24,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatledtothis/pseuds/whatledtothis
Summary: Frank Iero is a teenage foster boy with a troubled past and a hopeless future. That is, until he's taken into the Toro household, and their teenage son Ray shows him a life he'd never thought he'd have; friends, family, and love (with a slight bit of angst sprinkled in there).





	1. i am on the run and go

**Author's Note:**

> Title song: The Run and Go by twenty øne piløts
> 
> Forgive me for the unnecessary amount of references I'll make in this fic lol
> 
>  
> 
> This fic will get better (i promise)

Frank’s head ached. He had been sitting in the backseat of his caseworker’s car for the past 3 hours. He was fucking sick of it. He hadn't even been offered coffee when James, or John, or Jesse, or whatever his fucking name was, stopped at Starbucks to get himself the biggest drink Frank had seen in his last 15 years of existence. He’d been minding his own business, chewing on his lip ring and staring out the window whilst contemplating existence, when Jack or Joseph told him they were almost there. ‘Great, I finally get to meet the next family that I'll live with for a few weeks then get kicked out of before I can even unpack. Joy!’ Frank was definitely looking forward to this.

Joe or Jeff was right for once. Within 10 minutes, they were pulled into the long-ass driveway of an almost-mansion. ‘These rich assholes’ll be really disappointed when they find out who their foster kid really is.’ Frank thought, looking down at his pleather jacket, black skinny jeans, and beat up converse. “You first, son.” Jake or Johnny waved his hand to signal for Frank to lead the way up the drive. Frank cringed at ‘son’ and just wished for this to be over.

“Welcome home, darling!” A middle aged woman opened the door and called to them when they were only at the base of the steps that led up to the giant front door. The woman, most likely Frank’s new foster mother, was wearing a black flowy mid-calf dress with a floral pattern, a pair of sandal-like heels, and many expensive-looking rings and bracelets. She had thick, curly, shoulder-length hair and wore barely any makeup. Frank thought she was relatively pretty. 

He was brought into the house with a giant awkward shuffle-hug from the woman and a slap on the back from a man that was standing behind her. He wore a dark suit, had black rimmed glasses, and had thick black hair that was slicked back. A boy with a brown afro, about Frank’s age, was standing behind the couple, checking his phone. “Welcome, Frank” The man said, as his wife released Frank from her Kung Fu grip “I’m Rachel Toro, this is my husband John Toro, and this is our son, Raymond.” Mrs. Toro motioned to the teenager behind them. Raymond looked up from his phone, smiled genuinely at Frank and went back to his phone.

“Hello, Mrs. Toro. Mr. Toro.” Frank nodded respectfully to each of the adults in turn and Mrs. Toro laughed “No need for that here, darling. It’s Rachel and John to you.” She smiled and Frank returned it, surprised by her loving demeanour, but knowing full well that what people showed themselves to be and what they really were could be totally different things. Frank’s caseworker took a step inside and shook Rachel and John’s hands “I’d better be going. Good luck, kid.” Jake or James gave Frank a smack on the shoulder and smiled, then turned and walked back to his car, whistling some catchy tune.

Rachel closed the door and handed Raymond Frank’s suitcase before walking into another room with her husband “Ray will show you to your room, Frank.” Ray rolled his eyes dramatically and lugged the not-so-heavy case up the first few stairs before turning to Frank “You coming?” He asked. Frank nodded and grabbed his backpack off the ground and followed Raymond up the stairs, thinking that the Toro household might not be so bad at all.


	2. i'd promise you anything for another shot at life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes by Fall Out Boy
> 
> My iPad is being a little shit and when i try to update a chapter exactly as I wrote it, where I put tabs wont show, and the italics wont show either. Any tips? Thanks xx
> 
> Thnks fr th kudos, guys ;)

Frank laid atop his freshly made bed and was working on setting up his new phone. Once he had gotten set up in his new bedroom on the top floor of the Toro household and Rachel had realized that he had no cellphone or laptop, she had rushed him and Ray out to go shopping. Frank had gotten a new cellphone, mini laptop and a few sweatshirts he had liked that Rachel had insisted on buying him. Frank decided that he liked this woman and that her ‘loving mother’ demeanour was most likely genuine. 

His head shot up as he heard three knocks on his door, then it got gently pushed open and he saw Ray’s brown afro enter the room about five minutes before the rest of him. Ray plopped himself down on the bed without a word and unlocked his phone. After a few moments of silence, Ray spoke “Do you have a Facebook?” “No.” Frank shook his head “Then lets set one up for you!” Ray said a bit too excitedly.

The pair sat there for about an hour, setting up a Facebook page for Frank. Ray told him that his friends would definitely like Frank and Frank liked the sound of that. He'd never had friends before. After setting up the page, Ray wandered out of Frank’s room, probably to get food. Sure enough, within ten minutes, Frank already had four or five friend requests. He looked at the screen

Ray Toro has requested to be your friend! Open Facebook to Accept!

Tyler Joseph has requested to be your friend! Open Facebook to accept!

Bob Bryar has requested to be your friend! Open Facebook to accept!

Gerard Way has requested to be your friend! Open Facebook to accept! 

Patrick Stump has requested to be your friend! Open Facebook to accept!

Of course he knew who Ray was, but he was at a loss for the other people. Ray’s friends? Perhaps his new friends? He accepted the one from Ray and at that moment, Ray barged into the room. “Get any?” The boy asked in an unusual demanding tone. “Yeah, I did..” Ray grabbed Frank’s phone and smiled “Yeah, they'll like you a lot.” He said. He gave back the cellphone and Frank looked at the profile photos of the people who had requested his Facebook friendship. 

There were two blondes, one with ugly-ass facial hair and a lip piercing, and the other with an adorable smile and a fedora, a brunette wearing a beanie and a floral choker with another boy in the photo- an unnatural redhead- wearing a button up and a snapback that was hugging the brunette, but it was another boy who caught Frank’s attention. He had dark brown-black hair, an oval face and bright green eyes that were surrounded by black eyeliner. He was wearing an old Metallica shirt, black ripped jeans and a dark jacket. He was wearing glasses that were obviously someone else's, as there was a hand in the photo that was attempting to take them off him. Frank blushed and cursed himself for being so attracted to a stranger. Ray was looking over Frank’s shoulder as more friend requests came in

Micheal Way has requested to be your friend! Accept? Yes No

Brendon Urie has requested to be your friend! Accept? Yes No

Dallon Weekes has requested to be your friend! Accept? Yes No

Joshua Dun has requested to be your friend! Accept? Yes No

Ryan Ross has requested to be your friend! Accept? Yes No

“You should accept them, those are most of my friends. I gave them your name and told them you were living with us and they want to meet you.” Frank accepted the friend requests without another question, pausing at the dark haired boy’s profile and looking at his photo for a moment more before accepting

 

Gerard Way is now your friend!

 

“A few people are coming over tonight, I hope you don’t mind, Frank.” Ray said, smiling and nodding down to his phone “Gerard’ll be there.” Frank nodded and continued accepting friend requests “You can join us, if you like.” Ray suggested. Frank agreed and Ray left, planning for that night.

 

The doorbell rang at around 4 that afternoon. Ray called for Frank to join him downstairs. Frank pulled on one of his new sweatshirts, wondering why the Toro’s couldn't turn down the A/C in their almost-mansion. Frank made his way downstairs, playing solitaire on his phone. He walked over to where Ray was standing with six other boys. “Frank, this is Brendon, Dallon, Josh, Tyler, Gerard and Mikey.” Frank smiled at them, recognizing them from their Facebook profiles. Each of them said an awkward ‘Hi’ and they made their way to the lounge. Frank sat on the end of the longest couch, and the dark haired boy he now knew as Gerard sat next to him. 

They began the night by talking and joking about school, life, and tumblr. After about an hour, the beanie boy- Tyler- let go of the unnatural redhead- Josh?- and scooted away from where the two of them had been cuddling. He stood up and stretched “We should play something” He suggested. “Truth or dare!” The giraffe that went by Dallon piped up. 

“Are you a thirteen-year-old girl, Dal?” Brendon- the one with the forehead- joked. “I think its a good idea.” Gerard said, looking up from the bowl of popcorn he’d been sharing with the quiet boy- Mikey?- sitting beside him. “Truth or dare it is!” Ray announced, accidentally knocking over a bowl of chips as he flung his arms up to dramatize, and earning a laugh from everyone, even the quiet boy with the poker face.


	3. remember this night when you're gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Surrender the Night by My Chemical Romance
> 
> Thanks for reading guys. I honestly didn't think this piece of trash would get any hits, so thanks so much. Anyway, I just got my tragus pierced and I'm going to a Fall Out Boy concert in October!!! (That's why there's going to be far too many FOB titles/references lol, I'm super fucking excited!) 
> 
> This chapter was probably one of my favourites to write lol

“Gerard, truth or dare?” Ray asked as he threw a popcorn kernel at the other boy. “Dare.” Gerard rolled his eyes. The game had been boring so far, with the usual questions about crushes or begging for embarrassing stories and the same old ‘lick the wall’ or ‘kiss your boyfriend’ dares. “Dare you to kiss Frank” Ray giggled. Frank turned beet red “R-Ray! What the fuck?!” Gerard gave Ray a joking annoyed look and turned to Frank, the group making ‘ooooooh’ noises in the background. Gerard smiled and shuffled closer “Hi..” Frank smiled awkwardly before he was cut off by Gerard’s lips crashing on his.

Frank took a moment to comprehend the fact that the attractive boy from Facebook was kissing him. Even if it was a dare, it felt so good. Not only that, it felt right. The group cheered as Frank closed his eyes and eased into the kiss and Gerard laced his fingers in the other boy’s dyed-black hair. Frank put one hand on Gerard’s cheek and the other on the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. They must've been going for a longer time than anyone expected, because by the time they pulled back to get air, the cheering had gone completely and they were getting stared at by the rest of the group. 

Frank opened his eyes slowly. Gerard’s face was only inches away from his own. Gerard smiled and Frank did the same “Hi.” Frank offered, slightly less awkward this time. Gerard untangled his hand from Frank’s hair and traced a finger down his cheek and to his chin “Hi indeed.” Gerard giggled and Frank couldn't help but join, it was like Gerard’s happiness was contagious. “Alright, take it down a notch, boys.” Dallon piped up, his hands covering Brendon’s eyes and Brendon almost slapping him. “Sorry, Mom.” Gerard laughed, picking up the bowl of popcorn from his brother and ignoring the stares from his friends. 

The game continued as usual, Frank got asked a few questions about his past and how he’d ended up in Jersey. Frank told them that he was a foster kid but refused to say any more. He wasn't comfortable sharing his past with people, even if they were going to be his friends. It was around midnight when people started leaving to go home. 

It was only Ray, Frank, Gerard, and the quiet boy left in the lounge. Gerard stood and stretched “Mikey? You ready to go, kid?” Mikey stood up and punched his brother in the shoulder “I’m not a kid, Gee.” He protested. “You're still using childhood nicknames, Mikes.” Gerard teased, dramatically holding his arm, pretending it hurt. Mikey stuck out his tongue at his brother.

“See you, Ray.” Gerard said, leading the four of them to the door. “‘Bye!” Mikey said, stepping outside. “See ya! Thanks for coming over.” Ray smiled at the Way brothers. “No problem.” Gerard smiled, then he turned to Frank and winked “Text me.” He said, handing Frank a slip of paper then walking out the door to join his brother. Ray shut the door and turned to Frank “Told you they’d like you.” Ray shut off the lights and started up the stairs “Nighty night, Frankie.” Frank wanted to sass back, but only stood there, blushing furiously into the dark, watching the Way brothers walk down the long-ass driveway out the moonlit window beside the door.


	4. oh darling i know what you're going through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Thanks for 150+ hits, guys. It means a lot. I've put my heart and soul into this, so its good to know that people are reading it. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, too!
> 
> I also love writing from Gerard's POV, so i think I'll do that more lol

The sunlight beamed into Gerard’s bedroom window, through the curtains, and straight onto his face. Fucking amazing. Thanks, mornings. He lazily opened his eyes and felt around his bedside table for his phone. He turned it on and saw he had a text

8:11, Unknown Number, “Hi Gerard! It’s Frank (from the Toro household)”

Gerard checked the time and rolled his eyes. 10:47. How did Frank even wake up that early? He smiled as he thought back to the previous night. The feeling of Frank’s lips on his, Frank kissing back, Frank subconsciously inching closer to Gerard over the span of the night. Gerard silently thanked Ray for daring him to kiss Frank. Though he’d never admit it, Ray was definitely his saviour in many ways. Gerard added Frank to his contacts and wrote a reply

10:49, Gerard, “Hi Frank. What’s going on?”

He got a response within moments

10:50, Frank, “Nothing much. Rachel and John are sleeping in, so Ray’s attempting to make us pancakes. Let’s just say its not going very well…”

1 image attachment Download

Gerard giggled and downloaded the image Frank sent him. It was taken from behind the island in the kitchen. Ray was attempting to flip a pancake without using utensils. There was batter all over the countertops, Ray’s glasses, clothing, and face.  
Gerard laughed out loud and texted back

10:51, Gerard, “Oh, god. Please tell me that’ll land on his hair! In preschool, he got glue in his afro and was picking it out for weeks, so I can imagine pancake batter lol”

10:51, Frank, “Either way he’ll have a shit ton of cleaning to do and I'm not fucking helping!”

10:52, Gerard, “Cleaning; it’s a spectator sport, really. Anyway, you have plans today?”

10:57 Frank, “Sorry, Ray got pancake on the roof and I had to stop myself from pissing from laughter. No I don’t.”

10:58, Gerard, “I’m extremely proud, omfg. Want to come over later?”

10:58, Frank, “Sounds good. Be there in a few hours?”

10:59, Gerard, “Yeah, sounds good.”

Gerard sent Frank his address and Frank agreed to going aver at around 2. Gerard's family would be out at work all day and Mikey probably had plans to hang out with Ryan or Tyler, so he and Frank would have space to hang out.

-

Frank knocked on the Way’s door. Gerard’s house was large for a house in a subdivision. It was in an older neighbourhood, so that was probably why. After a few moments, he heard shuffling and the door unlocking. Gerard opened it, pushing hair out of his face. Frank smiled “Hey, Gerard!” Gerard opened the door wider and invited him in, before closing and locking it again. He was led into the lounge, which was relatively clean. There was a sofa that ran across the far wall, a TV on the wall across from it, and a few chairs, a coffee table, and side tables. Frank sat on the opposite side of the couch to where Gerard was. They made small talk, and the topic eventually turned to living arrangements.

Gerard told Frank that his parents had died in a car accident about 8 years back. He told him that he and Mikey had been living with their grandparents since then, but only last year, Gerard's Grandmother had died, and now it was him, Mikey, and his step Grandfather, Simon. Simon, or Satan as Mikey called him, was a raging alcoholic and basically lived at the bar. Frank could tell that it was hard for Gerard to be reliving the past, so he began talking about his own. 

His stepfather had abused him, his mother, and his sister. Frank’s stepfather was taken into custody after his mother had gotten up the courage to tell someone about the domestic violence. Frank's mother, however, couldn't keep up with the the bills and feeding two kids, so she put the two up for adoption. Frank had been only a young child, and only vaguely remembered this and had been in the foster care system ever since. Nobody wanted him for long, though. For whatever fucking reason, he was labelled “bad”.

Gerard listened to Frank’s story. His life seemed easy compared to Frank’s. He just wanted to hug him and protect him from the world, so that's exactly what he did. He scooted over and wrapped his arms around Frank suddenly. The other boy stiffened, but eased into it, hugging back after a moment. Frank smiled into Gerard’s hair. Frank took a moment to reconsider the situation and how things had changed in such a short span of time, but could only come up with one conclusion; maybe life in New Jersey wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	5. you put my head in such a flurry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: w.a.m.s by Fall Out Boy
> 
> This one is just straight (not really straight though lol) up fluff. I really loved writing this one for whatever reason. 
> 
> Thanks for all the support you guys have given me. I really appreciate it (you know who you are lol).
> 
> (I'll sit here and pretend most of this wasn't exactly what I did with my ex gf on our first date lol)

The door opened and Gerard and Frank jerked apart from each other. Gerard stood and Frank followed. They walked into the foyer to see Gerard’s little brother and a short kid with black emo fringe and thick eyeliner. “Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the Third” Gerard said sarcastically walking over to the pair. Gerard hugged the kid and smiled, then turned back to Frank. “Frankie, this is Pete” he motioned to Frank and back to Pete “Pete, that's Frank. He’s the one staying with Ray.” Pete immediately nodded, as if knowing who Frank was, and smiled “Hey Frank, how’s it going?”

Frank’s heart skipped a beat when he heard Gerard's nickname for him. Realizing that he was being rude and he needed to respond, Frank smiled back at Pete. He realized that Pete was older than he first thought. The kid had to be 14 or so, just younger than him and Gerard. “Good, you?” Frank nodded and stepped closer to join the group. “Pretty good.” Pete nodded and turned back to Gerard “Mikey told me you'd be out, I thought we’d have the house to ourselves!” Gerard glared at Mikey “Not a chance, Wentz. You two need parental supervision. I don’t want you two canoodling on my watch.” He said sternly. Mikey was beet red, obviously embarrassed of his brother.

Frank and Gerard were sitting on the couch again. Mikey and Pete were long gone upstairs, probably making out, as Gerard had joked. Frank was mindlessly looking through his phone when Gerard spoke up. “Can I take you out for coffee?” He looked up and smiled “Now?” “Yeah.” Gerard smiled back as Frank stood and stretched “Sounds good.”

Gerard led Frank into a small coffee shop and walked up to the counter. A pretty blonde lady stood behind it, wearing a brown uniform and had her hair up in a bun. She smiled at them and greeted Gerard by name. “Could I get a regular black coffee, please Lindsay? And whatever he wants.” Gerard nodded to Frank and smiled. Frank ordered some kind of fancy hot coffee-ish beverage with the word ‘French’ in the title; it was French, so it had to be good, right? Gerard payed and they walked out, chatting about anything and everything. Gerard led them to a park and they sat under a large maple tree.

Gerard sipped his coffee and listened to Frank talk. ‘It could stay like this forever, and I'd have no problems.’ He thought. Gerard couldn't help noticing little things, like how Frank would chew on his lip ring while waiting for Gerard to respond, or would run his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. Gerard thought that Frank was absolutely beautiful. He thought that Frank would be an amazing model for his artwork. He made a mental note to ask him if Gerard could draw him sometime. 

“You okay, Gerard?” Frank asked, snapping him out of his haze. “Yeah, I'm all good.” Gerard blushed, looking away. Gerard cursed himself silently and continued the conversation. They began talking about their interests, and Gerard mentioned that he enjoyed art. “Wow, that's so cool! Do you have any photos?” Gerard nodded and opened his phone, pulling up a picture of his most recent sketch. He handed it to Frank and he studied it for a long few moments. It was an idea sheet for one of the characters he was creating for a comic he’d had an idea for. The character had dyed red hair and wore a yellow mask, blue leather jacket, pale blue jeans with converse, and held a yellow ray gun. In a corner of the page was a helmet that looked like a cat-mouse creature with blue and white fur.

Frank handed back Gerard’s phone in awe. “Shit, Gerard. That's amazing.” Gerard smiled as he took back his phone “You really think so?” “Yeah, dude. That's awesome. You should really post some of your art online or something, see if you can get attention, ‘cause you definitely deserve it!” Frank suggested, picking up the lukewarm drink that he’d decided tasted nothing like coffee and taking a sip. “Thanks, Frankie. That means a lot” Gerard smiled. He closed his apps and checked his messages. Mikey had texted him

5:28, Mikey, “Hey Gee. Simon came back and packed a bag. Said he'd be out of town for a week or so. Gave us around 200 bucks to ‘keep us occupied’ as he said. He yelled at Pete and I for ‘sinning under his roof’ then left. Pete and I are getting pizza. Wondering if you and Frank wanted us to get you anything?”

Frank’s heart soared at the nickname, but was snapped out of his haze when Gerard asked him if he wanted pizza. Frank agreed and Gerard told him to follow him. They walked in silence, Frank biting his lip ring, a nervous habit, and Gerard texting Mikey back

5:30, Gee, “Coming home now with Frank. Wait until we get there to order? I don't know what he wants. Be back in 15, kid.”

When they arrived at the Way residence, Gerard unlocked the door and kicked off his shoes. Frank copied Gerard and followed him upstairs to what he assumed was Mikey’s room, as Pete and Mikey were sitting on the bed looking at their phones and laughing about something. “Hey Gee. Satan left us money. What do you want on your pizza?” Gerard chuckled and sat down, motioning for Frank to sit next to him. “Pepperoni?” Gerard asked, looking to Frank “I’m vegetarian, sorry.” Gerard shrugged and took Mikey’s phone, looking at the list of options.

They built their own pizzas, on the website, of course. No need to do anything yourself when its the 21st century, right? Mikey and Pete got some kind of obsessive 5-meat pizza and Gerard and Frank shared a half cheese-half veggie. The food arrived after a half hour and they ate while watching whatever shitty soap opera was on the tv. 

“Okay, what the fuck is this shit. Can we at least watch something with a plot?” Gerard complained as he reached over his brother to get the remote from Pete. Pete tutted “Gerard Arthur Way. There are people other than you in this room, and some of them are very enthralled with the lives of these poor old British women. SO, if you could kindly shut the fuck up, we’d appreciate it” Gerard and Mikey exchanged a confused look and Gerard sat back, flustered and speechless for once. “Alright, I’ll allow one more episode, Peter.”

-

Gerard held Frank's jacket out for him and Frank took it with a smile. They walked out into the cool night air and made the trek up to the Toro household. They had watched whatever soap opera that was for way longer than one episode, more like eight or nine. Mikey and Pete had gone to make out or whatever upstairs while Gerard walked Frank home. They walked in a comfortable silence until they got to the base of the long-ass driveway. “Thanks for coffee and pizza.” Frank smiled, turning to face Gerard. “Anytime.” Gerard smiled. 

They stood there for a few moments, until Gerard opened his mouth and inhaled, as if to say something, but closed it quickly and shook his head. “What’s up?” Frank asked. “Can I-” Gerard cut himself off and found his shoes particularly interesting at that moment. “What is it?” Frank cocked his head to the side and gazed at Gerard. “Can I kiss you?” Gerard locked his gaze with Frank’s, face bright red. 

Frank chuckled, stepped forward, and pressed his lips with the other boy’s. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s neck and Frank got on his toes to match Gerard’s height. Gerard pulled back and blushed. “Anytime.” Frank pushed a piece of hair out of Gerard’s face and Gerard made a confused face.”What?” He asked “You can kiss me anytime.” 

Frank stood there for a moment more, before he turned and walked up the driveway. “Goodnight!” Gerard called from the street, silhouetted by the quickly receding sunlight. “‘Night!” Frank called back before he opened the door and stepped inside, greeted the Toro’s, then went up to his room and flopped on his bed. To have gone from where he was before to where he was now, Frank figured he was probably the luckiest person in the world.


	6. the cannibals are starving when they're looking at you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Make Room!!! by My Chemical Romance
> 
> Can I confess how much i love Conventional Weapons? Like, honestly. Those songs are fucking amazing.
> 
> ANyway, i love you guys. Thanks (Pete) for reading :)
> 
> I dont even know what this chapter is, honestly. Mostly just a filler cuz I wanna put off other parts (Phew, avoided spoilers) of this for as long as i can.

Frank sat staring at the television. He’d been watching reruns of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ for the past several hours. He’d been quite content, until the television clicked off and Frank felt a weight drop on the couch cushion beside him. Frank, slightly miffed that his ‘Buffy’ marathon had been interrupted, whipped his head around to see a poofy-haired Ray smiling at him. “So, you ready for school tomorrow?” Frank rolled his eyes. For the past three weeks, since his first ‘date’ with Gerard, Ray’d ask him every morning if he was ready for school, or bug him about what he and Gerard had done the previous night, or if he’d made any new Facebook friends. Frank was getting sick of the questions, mainly because he shat a brick every time he thought about attending another high school. With people. With friends, to make it even scarier. 

Frank had never lived in one place long enough for the people in his classes to learn his name, let alone accumulate a group of friends. He had, however, become Facebook friends with almost everybody in Ray’s friend group, and he'd had a chance to talk to a few of them and get Gerard’s opinion on them. His favourite, besides Gerard, was a sort of chubby, cute, agender kid named Patrick. They had a thing for fedoras and guitars, and the kid had a voice that sounded just like soul. Patrick and Pete, Mikey’s boyfriend, were best friends and apparently inseparable. The pair had been best friends since they were in diapers and did everything together, and apparently Pete’s mom always made sure the two had all their classes together each semester too.

“Yeah, I am. You?” Frank sighed as he aggressively grabbed the remote from Ray’s hands and turned his show back on. “Yeah. I hope it’s okay, but Gerard and Mikey’ll be walking to school with us, and we’ll drop Mikey off at his school before going to ours.” Frank nodded and grunted agreement. He tried to pretend his heart didn't do that stupid fluttery shit every time Gerard’s name got mentioned in conversation. 

-

“Why is it so fucking hot in here?!?” Frank yelled to nobody in particular, as he was alone in the darkness of the house. He was laying on the usually cool sheets of his bed, attempting to escape the heat by cracking windows and wearing only boxers. Quite frankly, it wasn't fucking working. The almost-mansion’s A/C seemed to have a mind of its own, and it was the moodiest fucking thing in the world. He was pissy and had flipped out at Ray for no reason earlier that day, so Ray had gone to spend the day with his friend Bob and left Frank alone to sulk. Frank was having a fucking great time sulking until he heard his phone go off. He grunted, expecting Ray, but what he got was so much better.

6:53, Gerard, “Ready for school, babe?”

Frank’s stomach knotted in excitement as he noticed the ‘babe’ at the end of the text. He figured Gerard was just being flirty and just joking around, but it was nice to imagine that the other boy really did like him sometimes.

6:54, Frank, “Yeah lol, Ray’s been forcing me to go back to school shopping with him, so I'd hope I would with all this prep. Hbu?”

6:55, Gerard, “Haha, sounds like him. Yeah, only looking forward to art this semester, though :I”

Frank nodded to himself, remembering Gerard’s artwork and how he’d been really excited for the new art teacher who had “excellent reviews” as the Head of 10 had told the students at the last seminar.

6:56, Gerard, “Well, I am excited for English, but only ‘cause you’ll be there lol”

It was at that moment, Frank realized how glad he was that nobody was home. He felt his face turning beet red when he thought of him and Gerard could sitting in a Grade 10 English class together, walking to their lockers together, going out for lunch together, holding hands, making out in change rooms, doing.. ahem.. other.. things to each other after school.. Frank decided to cut his thoughts short as he realized he was a bit too excited at the thought of seeing Gerard in compromising situations.

6:58, Frank, “Yeah, can’t wait for that. How about we go out for lunch tomorrow?”

6:59, Gerard, “Sounds great ;) Sorry, gotta go. Mikey’s being a big baby lol”

6:59, Frank, “Yeah, see you tomorrow”

Frank set his phone down and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He curled up underneath the blankets, not caring about the overwhelming warmth enveloping him. Frank had actually almost fell asleep, until his phone went off one last time. He looked over to the bright screen and saw 5 words and an emoticon that caused all the blood to rush to.. other places.. all over again.

7:04, Gerard, Goodnight, Frankie. See you soon ;)


	7. you can only blame your problems on the world for so long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy
> 
>  
> 
> ALSo known as the chapter where shit starts going down and people will hate me for two days until i update then they get even angrier at me and it'll be fun (i promise)

“Hurry UP, Frank!” Frank heard Ray calling from the base of the stairs. Frank had been rudely awoken by Ray shaking him only half an hour before, and now he was being forced to dress, eat, and drink coffee in a matter of moments. Frank pulled on his jacket and decided he would set alarms for himself from now on. He stormed down the stairs and saw Ray waiting in the foyer with Mikey and Gerard and Frank felt the familiar butterflies return once he locked eyes with Gerard.

“Bye, Mikes!” Gerard hugged his baby brother tight and kissed his head. Mikey hugged back “Bye, Gee.” He said, pulling back and walking off to find his friends. “Have a good first day!” Gerard called after him and Mikey waved back. Gerard looked worried, and texted someone something urgently before joining back in the conversation. The three reached the back field of the high school and Ray waved to a few other kids who smiled at him; Ray was insanely popular (with the emos, mainly). 

More kids in Ray and Gerard’s friend group showed up and all joked around and smiled at Frank, making him feel included for once. Frank looked over at Gerard, who was on his phone again, still looking concerned. “You good?” Frank nudged Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard looked up at Frank and shrugged “Worried about Mikey.” “I’m sure he’ll be okay, Gee. He’s fourteen now, anyway.” He tried to comfort him. Gerard shook his head “There are awful people at that school.” Was all Gerard had to say for Frank to understand. He put his hand on Gerard’s shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile and Gerard returned the gesture before putting his phone in his pocket.

-

First and second periods dragged on excruciatingly slow. Frank had packed his new textbooks into his bag and headed to his locker, excited to see Gerard on their lunch ‘date’ before English. As he was closing his locker, he felt hands grip his waist and he jumped about 10 meters in the air. “Hey babe.” A familiar voice smirked in his ear before Frank turned around to see a smiling Gerard standing behind him. Frank took Gerard’s hand and they walked out of the school to get some lunch.

-

Their English teacher, Mr. Durham, rambled on about his personal life most of the class. He told them about his ex-wife being a bitch, his two daughters he wasn't allowed to see, and how he was addicted to drugs and struggling with anxiety. Gerard and Frank had been whispering to each other throughout the class, though. At the end of the class, the two parted ways and decided they would meet at the South Doors and Gerard would tell Ray where they would be. Gerard flashed Frank a smile and a wink as he said goodbye, which left Frank smiling like an idiot all the way to his fourth period.

-

Frank was whistling some tune on his way to the South Doors. As he rounded the last corner, he saw Ray waiting by the door, checking his phone. Frank walked up to him and smiled, before noticing he was alone. “Where’s Gerard?” “He got a call to go home early. Something about Mikey.. Something happened.” Ray said, leading them outside, told rying to hide how concerned he really was. Frank and Ray walked home in silence, and when they got home, Frank went to the lounge to call Gerard in private.

1 ring. 2 rings.. 3… 4… Frank got more worried the longer the rings went on. Gerard finally picked up on the fifth ring and answered with a raspy voice; he sounded as if he’d been crying. “Hi..” Gerard rasped into the phone. “Gee, are you okay?” Frank asked cautiously. “Can you come over? It’s bad, Frankie. It’s so bad..” Gerard’s voice got weaker and was barely more than a whisper by the last sentence. “I’ll be there in 15 minutes, Gerard. Hold on for me, okay?” Frank was already grabbing his jacket and running out the door before he got a weak ‘okay’ from Gerard and he hung up, racing to the Way’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY GUYS


	8. i miss you, i miss you so far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance (probably my favourite song off Revenge lol)
> 
>  
> 
> !!Trigger Warning!! This chapter contains mentions of self-harm, suicide attempts, and depressive content. 
> 
> (And just a sidenote, please don't hurt yourselves, guys. I know firsthand that depression is a bitch, and if you ever need help, you can always talk to me. I'll always respond to you if you need me. If you or someone you know is going through a depression-based emotional crisis, PLEASE call a suicide prevention hotline or go to a website like https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Your life is a precious thing, and you will be missed by many, even me.)
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, now that that's out of the way, I'm sorry for this. Don't hate me please! I'm sorry!

Frank opened Gerard’s front door and kicked his shoes off, still panting from the run. “Gerard!” He called into the emptiness. The house was hauntingly quiet. It was scaring Frank. “In the lounge.” A hoarse voice croaked. Frank made his way through the hallway and into the lounge where Gerard was sitting puffy eyed with his phone in his lap and a hand in his hair. “Gee..” Frank took a step towards him and Gerard broke down. Frank wrapped him in his arms and tried to soothe him.

A few minutes later, Gerard was regaining his composure. Frank was still cuddling the other boy and whispering to him that it would be okay. “Gee.” Frank began “Can you tell me what happened..?” Gerard stiffened in his arms and he felt him shrug and shake his head “Mikey’s school called me. Told me he ran off in the middle of class and that he'd left the building. I knew he'd be here. So I checked out and ran home. I found him on the bathroom floor. He'd slit his wrists, Frank.” Gerard’s voice cracked as he told what had happened to his baby brother, the baby brother he'd supposed to have been protecting. Now Mikey was in a hospital bed. 

The pair got a cab down to the hospital and checked in to see Mikey. The nurse made an exception for Frank to go in with Gerard, and Frank decided there was still some good in the world after all. “Are you ready?” Frank asked, taking Gerard’s hand in his. They were standing outside of room 104, the one the nurse had directed them towards. Gerard nodded and they stepped into Mikey’s room together. Mikey was a mess to say the least. He saw tears slip from Gerard’s eyes, but Gerard refused to break down in front of Mikey, even if he was unconscious.

-

Mikey remained unconscious for three days. In that span of time, Gerard spent every day with his brother, going home with the Toro’s at night. Frank was sitting at Gerard’s side the entire time, caring about both the brothers too much to let them be alone. Gerard had a notepad and had been writing furiously the past few days. Whenever he'd ask, Gerard just simply told him that he was writing for Mikey. Pete still hadn't come to see his boyfriend. Even after Ray’d told him what had happened, Pete still hadn't shown up. Gerard was getting increasingly angry with every passing hour that Pete didn't show. Frank could feel that anger flowing from his boyfriend in waves.

-

Gerard scratched the paper with his pen furiously one last time before setting it down and smiling. Frank hadn't seen Gee smile in four days now. “I wrote a song, Frank.” Gerard handed Frank the notepad and he looked it over

 

Does anyone have the time to bring me down?  
And can I sleep all night long to the drums of the city rain?  
Just make it up  
Cuz I'm awake all night long to the drums of the city rain

The lights we chase  
The nights we steal  
The things that we take  
to make us feel this  
I can't go back  
Don't think I will  
I won't sleep tonight as long as I still  
Hear the drums of the city rain

Does anyone have the guts to shut me up?  
Cuz I believe that every night  
There's a chance we can walk away  
So hold on tight  
Because I won't wait too long in the drums of the beating rain

Cuz the nights don't last  
And we leave alone  
Will you drive me back?  
Can you take me home?

Faces I don't know  
I am tired in the glow  
Of the freezing glow  
Keep me breathing don't make the lights come back  
Can you take me home?  
We all need this when we leave alone

Remember when you and I would make things up?  
So many nights, just take me down to the place we would hear them play  
I miss that sound  
Cuz now we don't sing so loud

-

Frank’s jaw hung, he was speechless. “It's just a rough draft, I think I may add more.” Gerard said. “It's amazing, Gee.” Frank could see the amount of emotion, love, and pain that went into this writing, he could even see the tear stains that dotted the pages. Gerard took the book back, smiling weakly as Frank gave him a hug.


	9. i'll forget, but i'll never forgive you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: True Friends by Bring Me The Horizon
> 
> Heyo mates! Updates'll be coming slower now that I'm starting school again, but they will come :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy loves

‘Bright.. too bright.  
Noise? Noise. Gerard?  
Voices. Who? 

“I may add more.”

More what? Who? 

“It's amazing, Gee.” 

Gee? His Gee? 

Gerard? Where? 

Help, Gerard. Scared.

So scared. Bright. Too much light. 

Some body turn off the light!! Help, Gee.

Scared. Please.

I'm sorry.. 

Cold.. 

Help..’

Gerard saw motion from the corner of his eye. ‘Mikey?’ He glanced over and saw his baby brother’s eyes open and close a few times. “Mikey?” Gerard called out to him as he grabbed and pressed the button that called the doctors. The button caused a loud, sharp beeeeeep “Mikey, can you hear me?”

Bright..

Why so bright..?

“Mikey?” Me..? I'm Mikey.

LOUD!! BEEEEP!! LOUD!!

“Mikey, can you hear me?” Gee?

Yes..

 

Hello..?

The doctors came into the room and Frank held Gerard’s hand, trying to calm him. “Michael, if you can hear me, please open your hand.” Gerard let out a breath when Mikey opened his hand, then closed it, then opened it again. After a moment Mikey opened his eyes and looked at the doctors and nurses standing over him. They all sighed and a few of them went around the bed to check whatever they had to check, take the mask off his face, only to replace it with one of those oxygen tubes that the doctor told them was called a ‘nasal cannula’. After the big production, about four or five of them left, leaving a doctor and a nurse alone with Gerard, Frank, and Mikey. 

The doctor talked to Gerard and Frank about not overstimulating or interrogating Mikey, and to call them if anything went south. Gerard agreed absentmindedly and went back to watching his brother, who was now beginning to move and sit up. The doctor and nurse left and Frank wrapped an arm around Gerard “It’ll all be okay now, Gee.” He whispered in Gerard’s ear. Gerard nodded and smiled as Mikey looked drearily at the pair of sleep-deprived teens beside his bed.

-

 

A week had passed since Mikey woke up in the hospital. Frank had gone back to school (he and Ray had been doing Gerard’s homework for him, like the good friends they were), Gerard had begun to get more sleep, and Mikey still refused to tell Gerard and Frank why he'd tried to kill himself, only that he had done it with the intention to die. The doctors had sent Gerard home and, not wanting to go to an empty house filled with awful memories, Gerard was still staying with the Toro’s. Gerard and Frank were sharing a room even though Rachel and John had offered him his own space. Gerard had told them that he didn’t like the thought of being alone, which was true. 

“I just don't understand why the little dipshit hasn't been to see his boyfriend! It's not like Ray and Patrick hadn't told him, he was like, one of the first to know!” Gerard was angry, livid actually, at the fact that Pete hadn't visited Mikey. Pete hadn't even called or sent a message with Ray to his boyfriend. Frank was suspicious as to what had led to Mikey’s suicide attempt and if Pete may have been at fault, but Frank didn't want to hurt and anger Gerard more than he already was, so he didn't bring it up. Frank shrugged and voiced his frustration at the situation as well; Mikey didn’t deserve to be ignored by his boyfriend of 4 years during a time where he needed love and support. 

-

Gerard and Frank laid under the blankets together, whispering about nothing. Gerard’s face glowed in the moonlight that flooded in from the open windows. Frank realized then and there just how lucky he was to have such a caring, beautiful boyfriend like Gerard. Honestly, Frank didn't even know if they were actually dating, but they seemed like a couple, so Frank kept hoping. “Frank?” Gerard whispered into the darkness. “Yeah?” Frank rolled his eyes and smiled, earning a smile from Gerard. “I love you.” Frank could barely see Gerard blushing in the pale moonlight. “I love you, too.” Frank answered. He swore he could hear Gerard let out a sigh of relief. “Goodnight, Frankie.” Gerard pushed Frank’s fringe out of his face and smiled at him. Frank smiled back and reached out to hold Gerard’s hand. “Goodnight.”

-

Mikey had been discharged from the hospital the following day. The Toro’s were picking him up with Gerard at noon, and Frank had been allowed to skip to be Gerard’s support. The brothers smiled at each other, but Frank could see the pain that seemed to radiate from Gerard as he walked with his brother, holding the hand attached to the arm that was bandaged. Rachel and John took Mikey and Gerard to their house to pick up their clothing and leave a note to Satan; they were going to live with the Toro’s. John had talked to the Way family lawyer and had gotten permission to take the boys in somehow. Frank figured that Mr. Mackenzie knew how shitty Satan was to the boy's or something like that. Rachel and John had agreed that the Way boy's would be living with them. For a long time.

Mikey sat on his new bed in the Toro household. He had unpacked his clothes, put up his posters, and set up all his books on the bookshelf. He heard a knock on the door and he called for the person to come in. Gerard stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Mikey..?” He started “Can we talk?” Mikey nodded and patted the bed beside him. Gerard sat down “Mikey, please. Why did you do it?” Mikey shut his eyes, tears threatening to spill. “Gerard..” Mikey started but he was cut off by Gerard grabbing the side of his face and insisting “Mikey, you're my baby brother. Let me keep you safe!” As tears streamed down his face, Mikey decided that a scratch in the paint on the wall was extremely interesting at that moment.

“I went to school. I showed up and of course people started laughing at me because of my red jeans. They told me that only faggots wore skinny jeans, especially ones that colour. I let it go, but when Pete came to the school to pick me up to go to lunch, they kept tormenting us, but Pete just laughed along. He agreed, Gerard. He agreed with them. They left and I questioned Pete, but he then just told me to leave him alone. He told me we were over. I started crying and he just walked away, so I went around the corner but the other kids were there. They’d been listening to our conversation. They told me nobody’d ever love me and that I should just kill myself because I was worthless. I signed out of school and just walked home. Then…” The tears came faster as Mikey remembered what had led up to his hospital visit.

Gerard was silent. Too silent. Gerard always had a snippy comment or comeback. Why wasn't he saying anything? Mikey looked up from the paint scratch and glanced at his brother. Gerard had his head in his hands and Mikey noticed the tears streaming from his face to his palms and down his forearms. They sat in silence for what felt like days when Gerard finally sat straight, wiped his face with the sleeve of the sweatshirt Frank had given him, and looked at Mikey. “So you and Pete..?” Mikey shrugged “It was like the Fourth of July, Gee. We were fireworks that went off too soon.” Gerard shrugged too and grabbed Mikey’s hand. Mikey smiled and Gerard smiled back.

Mikey knew that if he hadn’t been loved by Pete, then he shouldn't care, but it hurt. Pete was his favourite ‘what if’ and his best ‘i’ll never know’, and now that was gone. It was really gone. For good. Mikey decided that he wouldn't miss Pete, but he guessed you could never really know. All he knew now was that the bridges that Pete had burned would light Mikey’s way to the right decisions in the end.


	10. because of you i might think twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Song: We Don't Believe What's On TV by twenty øne piløts
> 
> Gee and Fronk just being cute and relationshippy (with Gee being a jealous bf cuz why not)
> 
> I'm not jealous, I swear... pfft.. nope...
> 
> To all my frens goin back to school around this time, hope you guys have a great year with good courses and teachers. First semester I have Geography, English, French, and Art so that'll be fun. I talked to each of my teachers about name/pronoun things before class, and they were all really cool about it, so I hope thing she go as well for you as they did me. I don't know what you guys are going through and I don't know what challenges you'll face, but I hope things go well for you all!
> 
> Wow that got deep, okay. Let's move on.
> 
> Thanks for 400+ reads, guys. Love you all <3

Light shone in through the curtains of Frank and Gerard’s room. Frank squinted against the brightness of that big ball of radiation and fumbled around his bedside table for his phone. 

8:19, Saturday, October 31. 

Frank sighed, he was sixteen today. He got up and stretched, pulled on a sweatshirt and rubbed his eyes tiredly, stumbling out of his bedroom once he realized that Gerard wasn't in bed anymore.

Frank tiredly walked into the wall that separated the kitchen and the lounge. “Slick, bro." Ray smacked Frank on the shoulder as he walked by. Frank rolled his eyes and walked to the coffee maker, pouring himself a mug of the precious dark liquid. He wandered into the lounge and almost threw his coffee on the floor in surprise as he got a chorus of “Happy birthday”’s. 

Rachel and John were sitting on the long sofa with two wrapped boxes sitting in front of them. Gerard was smiling at him from his spot on the big ‘potato’ chair (it was big, comfy and brown like a potato) with Mikey sitting on his lap. Ray came up behind Frank and scared the living shit out of him (get it..? cuz Ray's a teenager..? am I funny yet? no..? oh.. I tried) a second time with a huge bear hug. Frank smiled and hugged Ray back as best as he could from where he was. The Toro’s invited him to sit down and they gave him his presents; something nobody had ever done for him before.

Rachel had bought Frank a new black leather jacket that had his name stitched into the sleeve. She also have him a card that stated how proud of him she was for taking care of the Way brothers and being so amazing to her and John as well. John gave Frank a huge-ass desk he promised to help assemble some time soon, and fifty dollars as well as a bank card that he told Frank he and Rachel would add money to for his schooling and spending. Ray gave Frank a gift card so that he could buy music on his phone as well as the rainbow flag Frank had admired the first time he’d been in Ray’s room. 

Frank thanked the Toro’s for their gifts and gave them all hugs before lugging his new things up to his bedroom. As Frank was putting the desk-box in the corner of the room, he heard somebody clear their throat from the doorway. He turned and saw Gerard leaning on the doorframe. Frank set the box down and smiled as Gerard stepped into the room towards Frank. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck once he was close enough. Their lips connected in a long, passionate kiss that seemed to last forever. Frank figured he'd be fine if the kiss did last forever.

“I’ve got a gift for you.” Gerard mumbled into Frank’s ear. “You didn’t ha-” Frank was cut off by Gerard pulling out of the hug and seating Frank on the bed “Wait here and close your eyes.” Gerard went over to the closet and grabbed his present, then looked back over to Frank “Are they closed?” “Yes, Gee.” Frank rolled his (very much closed) eyes. Gerard lugged the case over to Frank and held up the present before telling Frank he could open his eyes.

Frank opened his eyes to see his boyfriend holding out a beautiful acoustic guitar. Frank’s jaw dropped down to the basement as he took in the beauty of the instrument. The body was white and it had a brown neck with (what looked to be) pearl inlays. Frank swore he shed a tear as Gerard handed the guitar to him and he strummed a few chords. Gerard dug around his pocket and handed Frank a pick. He played a few rhythms he’d worked out a few years back, when a foster sibling he’d had would allow him to use her guitar when her evil parents weren't home. After a while of Frank strumming the instrument, he held it out to observe it again, before looking up at Gerard, an ear-to-ear smile on his face. “So you like it?” Gerard smiled. Frank nodded vigorously “Thank you so much, Gee. It's amazing!”

Gerard helped Frank set up the stand he’d bought. Once they were done, Frank hugged Gerard from behind and kissed his cheek, then rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard smiled and turned, then hugged Frank tightly “Happy birthday, Frankie.” 

-

The Toro’s took Frank and the Way’s out for dinner at an expensive-ass restaurant in a city around an hour drive away. They were seated at a large rectangular table within five or so minutes of waiting. Frank, of course, was seated at the head of the table, Ray and Gerard sitting on his left, Mikey and Rachel sat on his right, and John sat at the foot, smiling at him. Frank decided he really liked these people, and not even for their money. They genuinely cared about him, which Frank had never had before. He enjoyed it.

Gerard contemplated what to order, staring at the menu boredly. He didn't generally eat in public, because for some reason it triggered his anxiety, so he was a bit wary about eating in a restaurant. He decided on a pasta dish that had grilled vegetables in it. The tables food arrived around fifteen minutes later, and Gerard poked at his food disinterestedly. All he wanted was to be home. He wanted to talk to Frank. Alone. Frank had been too long occupied with the Toro’s and his guitar all day, so he'd barely had time for Gerard. Gerard got it; it was his birthday. But that doesn't mean that he wasn't allowed to be jealous.

The meal came and went, and Gerard had only eaten around half his pasta. He requested a takeout container, and packed the now cold food into the styrofoam. They got in the car again and drove the godforsaken drive back to Jersey. Gerard liked the Toro’s, don't get me wrong, he just hated the anxiety driving gave him and he hated that Frank was having a conversation with Ray when Gerard was literally right beside him. Why was he ignoring him?

Rachel unlocked the door after fumbling with the keys for a few moments. Frank hugged Rachel, John, Ray, and Mikey, telling each of them goodnight, before smiling at Gerard and motioning up the stairs. Gerard nodded. He hugged his brother, kissing Mikey’s cheek before saying goodnight to the Toro’s, who were going into the lounge to get some r+r. Gerard walked up the stairs, scrolling through his Facebook feed and looking at the nice messages all their friends had sent Frank for his birthday.

Gerard pushed open the door slowly and saw Frank, shirtless, standing in front of his dresser, reaching for something in one of the drawers. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s torso and kissed his neck. Frank shivered, turning around and kissing Gerard passionately, catching him off guard. Gerard eased into it, and moments later they were half laying-half sitting on the bed, Frank on top of Gerard. Frank gently tugged at the hem of Gerard’s shirt and Gerard nodded permission for Frank to take it off. They continued to undress each other until they were making out only in their boxers, Frank atop Gerard, pushing the blankets onto the floor carelessly in the heat of the moment. 

-

Frank sighed contentedly as his head rested on Gerard’s chest, tracing shapes and patterns on his torso. Gerard hugged Frank closer and rested his chin on the other boy’s head. “Frankie?” Gerard whispered. Frank hummed questioningly in response. “I love you.” Frank smiled into Gerard’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist “I love you too, Gee.” Frank could practically hear Gerard’s smile radiating in the dark as they wished each other goodnight and Gerard basically passed out. Frank snuggled into Gee’s side, pulling up the blankets and sighing contentedly. Frank decided that if this is what home was, it was definitely worth waiting so long for.


	11. he says you're beautiful (i think you're beautiful, too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Don't Try by Gerard Way
> 
> I dont want to talk about how much this chapter hurt to write, but it needed to be done. Happy endings are in sight, guys! Pretty sure this fic will have around 20 chapters, so were just over half way done. 
> 
> Here's a short chapter for you because I didn't want to encorperate this one into the next idea for whatever fucking reason. My brain is weird lol

“‘Donnie Darko’ or ‘Halloween?’” Ray walked into the lounge with two DVD’s in one hand and a bowl of microwave popcorn in the other. “‘Donnie Darko!’” Gerard smiled and sat up excitedly. Mikey shrugged and the three looked at Frank to decide. “I haven't seen either before so..” Frank shrugged and Gerard gasped a bit too dramatically, then again he was talking to Gerard Way; nothing was too dramatic for him.

“‘Donnie Darko’ is basically about a teen named Donnie who keeps having visions of a man in a rabbit suit who convinces and manipulates him to commit some crimes, but there's like all these fucking amazing plot twists and its the best movie and I love it. Or there’s ‘Halloween’, which about this guy named Micheal Myers who kills his sister, then escapes from an asylum fifteen years later to attempt to kill again.” Gerard excitedly explained the basic idea behind the two films.

“Uhh, I don’t know. ‘Donnie Darko’ sounds pretty good.” Frank decided out loud. Gerard threw himself a quick celebration as he took the DVD from Ray and plopped it into the DVD Player before snuggling back into Frank’s side.

-

Frank’s jaw dropped as the credits of the movie began to roll. “Holy shit.” Was all he could say; the movie was fucking amazing. Gerard sat up from his spot in Frank’s arms and stretched. Frank kissed his cheek before he could get away and Gerard smiled. Frank looked to his other side. Ray and Mikey were sleeping on the other half of the couch, Mikey wrapped tightly in Ray’s arms. 

Gerard felt a nudge on his shoulder. He turned to see Frank giggling like a schoolgirl. Gerard gave his boyfriend a confused look and Frank motioned to Mikey and Ray on the other side of the couch. Gerard chuckled too, then went and picked up Mikey, like the protective big brother he was, and carried him bridal style up to his bedroom. 

Gerard came back to the lights being on and a sleepy Ray being tormented by Frank. “So, are you cheating on this girlfriend of yours with Mikey?” Ray turned red and looked embarrassed, then made an angry face at Frank before turning away, crossing his arms (like a toddler), and making a bunch of awkward spluttering noises. “N-no!” Ray insisted, glaring at his foster brother “Besides, Lainey and I broke up months ago.” Frank snorted and fell back in laughter.

“Leave him alone, Frank!” Gerard laughed, attempting not to piss himself. “Oh, go suck a fuck, Gee!” Frank referenced the movie they'd watched, enjoying the fact that he now had a new insult to throw at people. Gerard proceeded to fall to the ground laughing and Frank followed, falling back on the couch. Ray grunted, stood, and stormed out of the room. The pair finished laughing after a few moments and went up to their room, still giggling to each other quietly about something that they later wonder why they thought it was so funny.

 

(9 hours earlier)

 

Ray left his room, scrolling through boring Facebook feeds, when he heard something.. crying..? Yeah, crying. He followed the source of the sound to Mikey’s door. Ray knocked, and heard Mikey sniffle inside “Go away..” Ray put his phone away, concerned now. “Mikey, what's going on?” Ray tried the door knob but it was locked. “Please let me in.” After a moment, he heard shuffling inside, followed by clicking and the opening of Mikey’s door.

Ray looked concernedly at him but Mikey obviously thought that the carpet was very intriguing at that moment. Ray gently pushed his way into the younger boy’s room and closed the door. Mikey went to sit on his bed and Ray followed, sitting beside each other in silence for what seemed like years before Ray finally decided on what to say. “You can talk to me, alright? About anything.” Mikey nodded, wiped his eyes, and held his signature poker face for a moment only to breaking down into tears moments later. Ray listened to him explain how everybody at school were still making fun of him, how Pete still shunned him, and how Patrick had told Mikey that Pete had tried to kiss them.

Mikey told Ray that nobody wanted to be friends with him and that he thought he was worthless. That the only reason he was still here was that he didn’t want Gerard to hate him. Ray turned and hugged Mikey and the younger boy hugged back, crying into Ray’s chest. They sat like that, Mikey in Ray's arms, their legs entwined, for a solid fifteen minutes before Ray sighed and spoke again. “I like you, Mikey. I care about you. If you think you've got nobody left, remember that you've got me.” 

“You really want to be my friend?” Mikey whispered weakly, voice hoarse. Ray shook his head “No, Mikey.” Mikey’s shoulders drooped and he let go of Ray’s waist “I want to be your boyfriend.” Ray finished. Mikey looked up at the older boy in shock for a few moments, before burying his face in Ray’s neck. 

Ray felt Mikey’s tears wet his neck and Ray began to wonder if he had said something wrong, but Mikey spoke before he had the chance to continue his thoughts. “I want you to be my boyfriend, too.” Mikey sank down and smiled into Ray’s sweatshirt. Ray smiled and hugged the younger boy tighter, resting his chin on Mikey's head, any doubts Ray’d had went flying out the window. ‘They won't ever get to you again, Mikey. I'll never let them hurt you. I promise.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Vampires reference at the end there (idk if that song hurts any of you as much as it hurts me tho lol)
> 
> Fun fact about me, Donnie Darko is actually my all-time favourite movie lol


	12. i am more than you'll ever be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Kick Me by Sleeping With Sirens
> 
> Sorry for the lack of updates. Been having a lot of homework and anytime I get to write is at like midnight when I'm browsing Tumblr and being really uninspired, so let's just say I've not had the best ideas recently. I'm also very close to finishing writing this, which makes me sad but I'm glad I've gotten to share my ideas with others and gotten their feedback. Kudos to you guys, you're amazing <3 Anyway, this chapter is entirely based on personal experiences (and I know that it's like really cheesy to use your life as a basis for a chapter but i thought it was such a good idea to add for whatever reason lol)
> 
> Shoutout to my fren Jessi who's been amazingly supportive and who's stood up to every single bully since I've met her. She almost had a seizure for me, so thanks. Ily <3 (you probably won't read this, but I just want you to know how much you mean to me)
> 
> Anyway, I've made friends at my new school and they're all gay and they all like the same music as me so it's really fucking amazing. I've never had friends before, so it's really cool lol. Hope school's going good for you guys <3

“Hey guys.” Tyler mumbled as he walked up to the group. The boys smiled and greeted him. He had bags under his eyes and was wearing black sweatpants and an old Metallica shirt, which was unusual for him; he usually wore bright skinny jeans, some kind of floral cardigan, his red beanie and a choker. Today, however, he looked like he had hardly had time to eat before racing out the door to catch the bus.

“Where’s Josh?” Joe asked as the group began to part ways to go to their respective classes, and he and Tyler walked to science together. Tyler cringed internally, remembering the previous night’s events. “He’s sick.” Joe gave him a concerned look, as Josh had the best fucking immune system, but Tyler waved him away “He’s okay, though.” He decided that they should change the subject “How are things going with Blake?” Joe smiled and giggled like a twelve-year-old girl. “Things are going really well.” Tyler smiled back “That's good.” The pair entered the science room and sat in their seats, waiting for their asshat of a teacher to show up and tell them about how his wife was cheating on him and how he had a nasty hangover, so that he could then show them Bill Nye the Science Guy so that he could play Hay Day on his phone and not have to teach. Science was amazing. Tyler thoroughly enjoyed it. No sarcasm at all. Pfft, nope.

-

Tyler felt a smack on his shoulder. He winced and looked up from shoving books in his locker. Standing up, he stared right into the chin(s) of Matt. Matt Pelisser. ‘Fucking wonderful. Glad this could happen right now’ Tyler thought, looking up to stare the bully straight in the eyes. “What?” Tyler asked rhetorically in his best ‘not-fucking-interested’ Gerard-inspired sassy voice. He crouched back down to continue what he was doing. Maybe Matt would leave him alone. The bully was sort of like a mosquito, annoying and persistent. Matt smirked and leaned against the locker beside him, trying to act cool (and failing miserably). “So, where’s Jenna? She sick?” 

Tyler took a breath and didn't respond. After a moment, Matt smacked the locker he was leaning on and crouched down beside the smaller boy. “Now listen here, tell that fag I better not see her around trying to act like a boy again, or she'll get more than just a few bruises next time.” Matt hissed. Tyler could smell his foul breath from all the way up there, but now that Matt was at his level, Tyler thought that the stench would reach out and choke him if he let his guard down. 

The boy turned and took a breath (away from the halitosis) and turned back to the asshole, before smiling. “Y’know, Mattie-boy,” Tyler started in his sweetest voice “If you ran like your mouth you'd be in great shape. Maybe then, you'd be able to keep up with the ‘fag’ and I." The boy then stood, shut and locked his locker and walked away, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

-

Tyler unlocked the front door to his house and kicked off his shoes. He walked into the lounge and saw his beautiful boyfriend Josh watching a movie on the sofa. Josh looked over at him and smiled, the bruises on his cheek obviously causing him pain. Tyler walked over and hugged Josh tightly. The boys cuddled on the sofa for the rest of the movie, minds temporarily being removed from the pain of yesterday.

“Matt asked about you.” Tyler whispered. Josh snorted and shook his head. “He asked me where my girlfriend Jenna was.” Josh tried to hide the tears that ran down his cheeks, but obviously failed. Tyler buried his face into Josh’s sweatshirt and began crying. “What do we do, Ty?” Josh held his head in his hands and Tyler just shook his head in confusion and anger.

(The previous day)

Tyler and Josh were walking towards their bus stop. Matt Pelissier was walking behind them with Ryan Ross, the spawn of Satan that Brendon called his ex, and Spencer Smith, Ryan’s current 'boyfriend' (aka the person he'd abuse for 6 months then dump on the side of the road when he'd gotten what he'd wanted from him). “Hey, Jenna!” Matt called. Josh’s breath hitched as he stopped dead in his tracks. “Josh?” Tyler looked confused, before he realized that Matt had used Josh’s birth name. Josh and Tyler began walking faster, until they heard the pounding beat of sneakers hitting the pavement. Tyler glanced behind him; the three bullies were chasing them.

Tyler and Josh started to run. They turned and ran onto a street close by, but Ryan, Matt, and Spencer followed them. Josh glanced behind him; they were gaining on them, even though Matt’s face was contorted in pain from the running, as if he was trying to take a shit right there and then. Josh’s foot hit a piece of pavement that stuck up from the rest and he went tumbling. “Josh!” Tyler called, trying to grab Josh’s hand, but he fell anyway, pulling Tyler down with him. Josh opened his eyes to Matt, Ryan and Spencer standing above him. He groaned in pain and tried to roll over, but one of his arms was being pinned to the ground by a foot. Spencer.

Matt knelt over Josh and turned his chin so that Josh was facing Matt, a trickle of blood running from a gash in Josh’s forehead down to his cheek. “You okay, Jenna?” Matt taunted the transgender boy with the use of his birth name. Josh struggled underneath the weight of Matt’s hands pinning his shoulders. “You motherfucker! This is who I am! I won’t change me to please you. I won’t be less to please you!” Josh spat in Matt’s face. Now Matt was really fucking angry. Matt punched Josh on the cheek, not once, not twice, but three times, creating angry, purple-red bruises that formed almost instantly and scarring Tyler mentally with the horrid noises. 

Josh fell back after the third impact and Matt stood, flicking his hand to try to suppress his own pain. He called Spencer off and turned to see Ryan and Tyler tussling in the grass; Tyler fighting to get out of the other boy's grasp and help his boyfriend, and Ryan fighting to be accepted into Matt’s group of friends (bullies). Matt, Ryan, and Spencer made a run for it once they saw an older gentleman step out of his house and onto his drive to grab the paper he’d missed from this morning.

-

Josh’s mom, dad, and sisters were out of town for a dance competition and his brother was staying at a friends place, so he was all alone for the week. Tyler didn’t feel comfortable with Josh being alone, so he brought him back to his home. Tyler’s mom, being the angel that she was, gave the boys a huge hug, cookies, and told Josh that he could stay for as long as he wanted. Josh decided not to go to school the next day. Tyler agreed. They iced Josh's face and watched comedy movies all night, hoping to distract themselves from how awful humanity was. Tyler decided that, no matter how ugly the world was, Josh was (and always would be) beautiful to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, no disrespect is meant to Matt, Ryan, or Spencer. This is entirely a product of my imagination and none of this ever really happened. I love each of them (except I don't really like Matt that much but whatever) and I don't mean to offend anyone or anything like that :)


	13. too many war wounds (and not enough wars)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Irresistible by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Holy shit guys, thanks for 500+ hits. Ily all so much <3
> 
> I've got a collab day tomorrow, so I get to sleep in and I'm very excited lol. 
> 
> ANyway, hope you guys enjoy this one. Not too sure what this was, but I needed to work in some ideas before proceeding on with the story, so happy birthday I guess. Also can we talk about how fuckign amazing the Irresistible video is? (not the one with Demi, because I've repressed that one) K but like Joe is actually me. I don't have a joke for that, it's just far too real and I wanted to mention it.

Dallon tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the Keurig to finish heating water for his coffee. After the stupid machine finished being a picky-ass bitch and brewed his (and all his friends) lifeblood, Dallon grabbed the bag of chips and pack of skittles he’d picked up earlier and stumbled up the stairs to Brendon’s bedroom. The door was closed. ‘Fuck Brendon and his need to close goddamned fucking doors.’ “Bren, open the door.” Dallon called, kicking the door with his foot and wincing as he dribbled hot coffee on his arm.

Brendon opened the door, staring at his phone in the darkness. Dallon pushed past his boyfriend and Brendon wondered how Dallon avoided hitting his head off the roof; the other boy was so fucking tall. It was weird. Dal flung the sweets and chips onto the bed and took a long, obnoxiously loud sip of his coffee before setting it down on Brendon’s bedside table. Brendon shut the door and sat down next to Dallon.

He leaned over, shutting off his phone, and kissed Dallon’s neck. Dal shivered underneath Brendon’s touch and shifted to kiss Bren’s lips. Brendon pulled back after a moment and laid down on his pillow. Dallon laid next to him, opening the bag of chips and laying it in between them. They kissed, snacked, and whispered about nothing in the dim glow of Brendon's nightlight. (Yes he's a man. Yes he's got a nightlight.)

-

Joe was waiting in front of a modest brick house in an older, richer part of Jersey. He pulled out his phone and texted his boyfriend. They were supposed to go on a date tonight. He’d been waiting there for around 10 minutes, and Joe started wondering if he had the wrong address.

6:42, Joey, “Hey, Blake. I'm outside of your house. 224, right?”

Joe got an answer a few minutes later.

6:45, Blake, “Yeah, that's right. My Dad was sick, so I had to wait for my Mom to get home so I could leave. She just got here a few minutes ago. I’ll be out in a moment”

Joe’s smiled, glad that Blake hadn't blown him off, not yet putting together that a car hadn't pulled into the driveway recently. Despite his doubts, Blake stepped out of the house a moment later. His blonde hair glowed in the fiery dusk light. Joe smiled and Blake smiled back, hugging him half-assedly for a moment, before leading Joe down the street to a coffee shop. They each got teas, as neither drank coffee, and went to sit at a park. They sat in silence for a good five minutes before Blake broke the silence.

“Look, I don’t think this is going to work out.” Blake said. Joe felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he registered the weight of Blake’s words. “Blake, I-” Joe began, but Blake cut him off “Listen, i’m sorry, but you and I, its just not going to work out, It’s not you, it’s me.” Blake stood and he glanced at Joe. Tears threatened to spill from Joe’s eyes, but he refused to show pain in front of Blake. “You’ll find someone better, Joe.” Blake hesitated for a moment, before walking away and leaving Joe to lay back on the grass and allow the tears to slip freely from his eyes.

-

Pete stepped into his room. He glanced around and his eyes caught a photo. The photo. It was him and Mikey. Mikey’s arm around Pete’s neck and Pete’s around Mikey’s back. Mikey wore a long, black, Sherlock-esce coat that was buttoned all the fucking way up, grey fingerless gloves, and a black toque that Pete had gotten him the previous Christmas. Pete wore some fucking striped shirt and a sweater with the sleeves cut off. The pair were smiling, or Pete was and Mikey was doing the closest thing he could to a smile without breaking his poker face.

He slammed his door. So fucking hard. He was angry. He had broke it off with Mikey because he thought he’d had a chance with Patrick, but in reality he’d just ruined his relationship with his best friend, and he’d pushed Mikey so far that he’d tried to kill himself. He missed Mikey. He’d known it was a stupid decision to break up with him, but he’d convinced himself it was smart at the time.

Pete stumbled over to the picture frame that stood on his dresser. He picked it up, tears streaming from his eyes and onto the glass. After a moment of silence, Pete chucked it at the wall, creating a dusty indent where the frame collided with the painted drywall. The glass shattered along with the remnants of Pete’s heart and he fell to the floor, a sobbing mess. 

-

Ray and Mikey were cuddled in Ray’s bed, staring out the window into the view of the hills behind the almost-mansion. Ray fingered through the younger boy’s hair affectionately. After a moment, he stopped and wrapped his arm around Mikey’s waist, pulling him closer, and burying his nose into the other’s neck. Mikey hummed contentedly and laced his fingers with Ray’s. “I love you.” Mikey whispered. Ray smiled into Mikey’s neck “I love you too.”

Ray was awoken a few hours later to the front door shutting rather loudly, followed by a pair of voices which argued with each other. They stopped after a few minutes, then he heard a pair of socked feet stomping up the stairs, and Frank’s bedroom door opening and shutting. Something must've happened between Frank and Gerard, Ray figured. Another pair of feet started up the stairs, this one much heavier and angrier than the last. The door opened and closed again, and Ray decided to go back to sleep; their personal affairs were none of his business.

After attempting to fall asleep and failing, Ray resorted to laying and staring at the ceiling, contemplating existence. It was around half an hour after Gerard and Frank’s argument that he heard his bedroom door creak open, and light flooded in from the hallway. Ray laid still, pretending to be asleep. A midget with dyed black hair stuck his head into Ray’s room, but after noticing Ray wasn't awake, slipped back out as quietly as possible. Ray cuddled back into Mikey’s side and listened to the dull sound of Frank’s feet on the wood flooring.

-

Frank sat on the sofa in silence. Some shitty game show was on, but he couldn't pay attention. Why wasn't Gerard back yet? It had been seven hours since Gerard had left to ‘have dinner with his friend’, and Frank wasn't fucking buying it anymore. Just as he thought that, keys jingled from outside and the front door opened and shut rather loudly. Frank stood and made his way into the hall, where Gerard was quietly trying to lock the door in the darkness. Frank flipped on the light switch, and Gee jumped about three meters in the air in surprise. 

“Damn it, Frankie. You scared the shit outta me.” Gerard sighed, relieved that Rachel or John hadn't caught him coming back after curfew. Frank narrowed his eyes “Where the hell were you, Gerard. I was staring to wonder if you’d been poisoned or some shit.” Gerard rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes. “I got caught up. I was helping my friend, Lindsay. Remember?”

Frank rolled his eyes and walked over to Gerard. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and kissed him, but Gerard pulled back. Frank made a surprised and sad face that made Gerard feel instantly extremely guilty. Gerard shook his head and wiggled out of Frank’s grasp, turning and heading for the stairs. “What's your fucking problem?” Frank said, probably too loud, as the entire house was sleeping except for them. Gerard just shook his head again “I'm just not in the mood..” He trailed off. “What do you mean, you're ‘not in the mood’? You leave me hanging without even texting me for SEVEN FUCKING HOURS, GERARD. You knew I was waiting up for you. Then I try to kiss you and you say you're not in the mood without even telling me what you've been doing? Well you get in the mood!” (Sorry for the Seinfeld reference lol. I'll stop)

Frank and Gerard continued to argue about what Gerard had done that night, before Gerard quit, flipped Frank off, and stormed up the stairs as quietly as he could, remembering that people were still sleeping. After a moment, Frank stormed up the stairs too. He, unlike Gerard, was pissed and didn't care about anyone else at this point. He flung open his bedroom door and flopped down on the bed, face first into the pillow.

 

Gerard finished brushing his teeth and practically shat himself as the door flung open and slammed shut again. He turned and saw Frank flopping on their bed into his pillow. Gerard shut off the ensuite lights and went over to the bed, laying as far away from Frank as physically possible. Frank rolled onto his side so that he wasn't facing Gerard.

 

Frank sat up and stood, walking to the door. He'd tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. He figured he'd see if Ray was up. Ray was a cheap therapist. Frank turned on a lamp that was on a table outside his room and stumbled down the hall to Ray’s bedroom, then cracked open the door. He poked his head in, and saw not only Ray in his bed, but another lump beside him. Who was sleeping with Ray? Mikey? Frank decided he didn't want to know, so he just closed the door and went downstairs to binge watch Netflix and make popcorn. He needed a distraction, only if for the night.

-

Spencer sat beside his phone, waiting for a response. He'd sent the breakup text to Ryan. He couldn't believe he'd helped Matt and Ryan do those things to Josh and Tyler. He couldn't stand it. He could barely even stand looking in the mirror. Josh was right; he was more of a man than any of the three of them. Spencer was overwhelmed by guilt. He knew what he had to do. He’d apologize to Josh face to face. Sincerely apologize. He knew Josh and Tyler had no reason to forgive him, but he needed to do it. 

He knew what else he had to do, too. After all, it was Ryan that dragged him into this mess. He’d told Spencer that he'd break up with him and humiliate him if he didn't bully Josh with them. He knew it was all wrong, but he’d done it anyway. What an asshole he was. Spencer didn't even deserve Josh and Tyler's forgiveness. 

So here Spencer was, waiting for Ryan’s wrath and waiting for the Facebook notification to pop up on his phone; he knew Ryan would post something to humiliate him now. It was his own fault, anyway. Brendon had warned him that Ryan was bad news. He just had to go and fall for Ryan anyway, though. His phone buzzed and he read four words that shook him to his core.

7:12, Ryan, “Have fun then, Spencey”

-

Andy and Elle were cuddled under blankets on her sofa. They were watching some Alfred Hitchcock movie, and Andy wondered how the night could ever be better. Elle had told Andy that she loved him. Of course he reciprocated the feelings, and the pair ended up cuddling and watching old black and white movies, not having a care in the world. That was, until he picked up his phone and saw the message waiting for him.

7:09, Joe, “Andy? I need help. Please call me. It's important.”

Andy pushed back the blankets and apologized to Elle. It had been two hours since Joe’d texted him. Oh god. “Sorry, my friend needs me to call him. Says its important.” Elle nodded and Andy stepped out of the lounge into the hallway and leant on the wall, dialling Joe’s number. Joe picked up after four rings, each passing ring making the pit in Andy’s stomach grow until he thought the pit would turn into a black hole that would suck him up as soon as Joe’s phone went to voicemail. Luckily, Joe answered.

“Hey.” Joe answered, slurring his words. “Joe, what the fuck. What’s going on, man?” Andy asked, slightly miffed. “Oh, He-“ Joe hiccuped and laughed drunkenly “Hey Ansy. Add-ney. Andy.” Joe giggled and Andy heard a thump followed by Joe’s laughter. “I ferr- fell.. Off the bed.” Andy sighed, anger melting and being replaced my concern for his idiot best friend. “What happened Joe? I thought you were off alcohol.” Joe sighed and began mumbling incoherently, before forming a full sentence “Blake bloke.. Broke up with me. I was gunna OD, but found my alcohol instead.” Joe sounded sad, but he hiccuped once more and began giggling at himself again. “Okay, I’m coming over, Joey. Stay there and be safe. Don't drink any more please."

 

“So you’re leaving me to help a drunk friend?” Elle had her hand on her hip; for some reason she was offended. “Listen, his boyfriend just broke up with him. He was going to OD, Elle.” Andy insisted but Elle just rolled her eyes. “So are you gonna go be his knight in shining armour? You gonna leave me for him?” Andy rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. He was done with this. Joe needed him. Now.

Andy shoved the keys in the ignition and turned the radio up loud. Blasting, actually. He pulled out of Elle’s driveway, being flipped off by her the entire time. Andy used a few back roads and got to Joe’s in record time. Jumping out of his car, he raced to the front door and used the key Angela, Joe’s mom, had given him years ago to unlock the door. 

 

He opened Joe’s bedroom door to see Joe passed out on the floor, phone and empty bottles of cheap alcohol beside his head. Andy walked over and picked him up, Joe stirring in his arms. Joe smiled and Andy gently kissed his forehead, setting him down under a light blanket. Joe giggled quietly as Andy's whisps of facial hair tickled his forehead. Andy smirked, then walked to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with cold water, and proceeded to place it on Joe’s forehead. 

After getting Joe a barf bowl and cleaning up his mess, Andy sat on Joe’s bed with Joe’s head in his lap, stroking his hair. Joe mumbled something close to ‘Thank you’ while curling up against Andy’s waist and Andy smiled, leaning back on a propped up pillow, and thinking of how much Elle had actually been trying to control him throughout their relationship over the past year. Andy realized at that moment just how much happier he was with Joe than Elle. 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?"


	14. lay us down, we’re in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: The End of All Things by Panic! At The Disco
> 
> Hey guys! Were over halfway done this fic! It honestly is kinda weird, because this has been such a big part of my life for the past month or so, and I’m really going to miss it. Thank you all for reading, as I really do appreciate it. It’s crazy to think that something I thought of late one night is actually being read by other people, so thank you for making this possible. Love you all <3
> 
> UPDATE (06/10/17)  
> One more hit on this fic and we’ve reached 666. Not that important, I just felt it needed to be said.

Gerard sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. 7:23. He'd only slept for six and a half goddamned hours. Fucking amazing. That totally helped his bad mood. Gerard stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen. Coffee. Need. Coffee. He grabbed the biggest fucking mug in the cupboard (because he could). ‘Excuse me, I asked for the large cup of coffee.’ Gerard smirked to himself, quoting ‘So I Married An Axe Murderer’ in his mind. 

50% less mad, now that he had caffeine in his system, Gerard wandered into the lounge. Frank was asleep on the couch, remote in one hand and popcorn bags and a half empty Monster on the coffee table. Gerard felt guilt rise in his stomach and he hung his head, leaving the lounge and going into the family room. He found Ray and his Mother watching the news, Rachel knitting a scarf absentmindedly. 

“Everything okay between you two?” Ray asked Gerard as he got up and stretched, thinking that coffee really was a smart idea. Gerard just shrugged and rolled his eyes, walking over to the sofa and sitting in between Rachel and Ray’s spots. Rachel handed Gerard the remote, and he lost himself in a shitty cop show.

Frank stumbled into the family room, trying to massage his aching back. He was going to sit, but the only spot was beside Gerard and he wasn't in the mood for another argument. Ray entered the room and glanced at the feuding couple sympathetically. Frank had been hoping for an apology from Gerard the entire time, but got fed up after around half an hour and left to go play guitar angrily.

-

Stomping upstairs, Frank opened his phone when he got a Facebook notification. It was a photo of Gerard and the girl Lindsay from the coffee shop they’d gone to on their first ‘date’. Lindsay was hugging Gerard and kissing his cheek and Gerard was smiling. Genuinely. Both of them were genuinely smiling. Frank’s heart hurt, but he wasn’t going to show it. In the photo, Gerard had his arms wrapped around her waist. Frank rolled his eyes and scrolled down to see the comments. 

Lindsay Ballato: Thanks for spending the evening with us, Gerard! My parents really loved my amazing boyfriend ;) ;) 

Frank’s shoulders sagged and tears finally spilled from his eyes, not able to control it any longer. ‘What the fuck, Gerard? Boyfriend?!? He’s supposed to be my boyfriend! Not be with some girl from a coffee shop!’ Frank angrily turned off his phone and flung it on his bed.

-

Gerard knocked on Mikey’s bedroom door quietly. “Yeah?” Mikey called from inside. Gerard walked in and shut the door behind him. Mikey smiled and Gerard shrugged, flopping down on his brother’s bed. Mikey laid down beside Gerard and hugged his waist. Gerard hugged Mikey back and sighed into his baby brother’s hair. 

“Hey guess what?” Mikey pulled back and tried to keep from smiling. Gerard rolled his eyes “What?” Mikey fiddled with the hem of Gerard’s sweatshirt and blushed “C’mon already” Gee rolled his eyes playfully. “So Ray and I are like.. a thing now..” Mikey giggled. Gerard’s jaw hung and he sat back, looking at his brother in confusion, then scratched his head. “I’m sorry?

“Don’t be mad, Gee.. But Ray and I are dating.” Mikey looked Gerard in the eyes and smiled, knowing Gerard couldn't be mad for long. Gerard shrugged “That’s great, kid.” The brothers hugged and Mikey whispered a thank you. “What for?” Gerard whispered back. “For always being there for me. For being supportive and being amazing.” Mikey cuddled into Gerard’s side as they laid back on the pillows of Mikey’s bed. “I love you, Gee.” He whispered so quietly Gerard wondered if he imagined it. Gerard knew that Ray would treat his baby brother well (and if he didn’t, Gerard would most likely kill him). He figured that as long as Mikey was happy, Gerard could try to be happy too. Tears bean to run down his cheeks as he thought about how Frank would most definitely hate him. He cried silently, holding his baby brother, about how Mikey always came out on top, no matter what. But, Gerard decided, Mikey deserved it. He deserved happiness. Gerard was the one who deserved pain. Gerard deserved nothing. Ever. “I love you too, Mikes.”

-

Frank had worked out a few good rhythms and written them down. To be honest, he was quite pleased with how far he’d come on the guitar in less than two months. He was strumming out an older rhythm he'd worked out that he'd even written lyrics to. He’d not named it, but it was something he was very happy about. He hadn't worked out the chorus, either, but he'd written almost everything else out.

“I’m not sure what they said, but if it’s true i’ll bet, just one more thing i’ll regret. I hate my weaknesses. They made me who I am.” His bedroom door opened and shut quietly, but Frank didn't look up. He didn't care. He wanted to play his song. He just continued mumbling words and strumming away, slightly agitated by the other presence (that was most definitely Gerard) now.

“These things inside my head, they never made much sense, So I wouldn't hold my breath.. I hope I die before they save my soul!” Frank head banged to his own playing. He took a few deep breaths and continued singing, looking up and staring Gerard directly in the eyes.

“I hate my weaknesses, they made me who I am. It makes no difference. I’m insignificant.” Frank stopped abruptly at ‘insignificant’, as he watched Gerard’s eyes fill with tears. The other boy looked down at his feet that were criss-crossed beneath him, and Frank got up and put his guitar away.

Frank sat across from Gerard, watching as he fumbled with a pull on his sweatpants. “Don’t hate me, Frank.” Came a whisper from Gerard. Frank was fully convinced it was his mind, but he definitely saw Gee’s mouth move. Frank fucking lost it. “For what, Gerard? You won’t tell me anything! I don’t know anything about anything. You need to talk to me, Gerard. You need to tell me what's going on here." 

     Frank saw small spots begin to darken with wetness on Gerard's sweatpants. He looked up. Gerard was crying. Frank shook his head and began to chuckle slightly. He knew that all of this had been too good to be true. Why had Frank gone and fell for the cute guy from Facebook? Why, oh fucking why?


	15. you’re not who you’re supposed to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Forest by twenty øne piløts
> 
> Sorry for any errors. If I miss anything, please tell me :)
> 
> Anyone remember that part of TBP era where Gerard got married and didn't tell anyone, then Ray supposedly saw Frank crying at his wedding, and then onstage Frank went to hug Gee but they got in a fistfight and Frank had a tantrum or something like that? Yeah, that's where I got the idea for some.. angst.. sorry! (Not really lol) It does get better for these poor boys though, don't worry

Tyler tossed fitfully, desperately trying to sleep. He ended up scrolling on Facebook, bored out of his fucking mind. He saw a post that had a picture of some girl with Gerard Way. They were hugging and the girl had captioned it with something about Gerard being her boyfriend. Tyler was confused, weren't Gerard and Frank, Ray’s foster brother, dating? Tyler shrugged his shoulders and figured they'd been messing around, though they'd looked pretty genuine. He wondered if Frank had seen it. He wondered how Frank would react.

He continued scrolling until he came upon a post that Ryan Ross, Brendon’s evil, conniving ex, had made the previous night. It was a photo of Spencer Smith and… Brendon Urie? Tyler couldn't really tell, but he was pretty sure. They were kissing on a truck’s tailgate, illuminated by pale streetlights and cigarette cherries. The photo was grainy and obviously candid. Ryan had captioned something about catching him in the act and how this wasn't the first time. He said that they were over and that if Spencer ever tried to talk to him again, Ryan and Matt would kick his ass. He said something about how he was sorry for the other people who’d been involved, and the he hoped nothing bad happened to them. He tagged Brendon, Spencer, and Matt.

At around midnight, Tyler’s door cracked open and Josh poked his head in. Tyler clicked off his phone and sat up. Josh entered and stepped towards the bed. He moved and Josh sat beside him, resting his head in Tyler's shoulder. Tyler kissed Josh’s cheek and moved to his lips. The pair kissed in the darkness until Josh pulled back and hugged Tyler tight. They fell back onto the bed and cuddled. Josh’s hair was tickling Tyler’s nose but he didn't care enough to remove it. “I love you, Joshie.” Tyler mumbled into the other boy’s dyed red locks. Josh kissed Tyler’s neck and smiled “Love you too, Ty.”

-

“I was helping her, or so I thought. She told me that her dad would've killed her if he knew that she had a girlfriend. She said she needed me to pretend to be her boyfriend so her dad would stop nagging her about it. She said he couldn't know she was a lesbian. He would kick her out, Frank. Disown her.” Frank nodded for Gerard to continue “So, I went over and we went upstairs while her mom continued making dinner.” Gerard choked back tears as he whispered “She kissed me.”

“I pushed her back but she kept coming at me. I told her to back off and I went downstairs and her dad gave me some talk about how he was glad his daughter had such a polite boyfriend and I almost kicked him. We ate dinner and then her mom took a photo of me and Lindsay, then I guess she posted it on Facebook. I wanted to leave, but her parents practically pushed us into her bedroom and shut the door. She kept trying to make out with me, and I climbed out of her window when she went to the bathroom.”

Gerard held his head in his hands as Frank just stared at a crack in the paint on the wall “I didn't know what to do, so I went to my friend Bob’s place to get his advice. He told me to go home and just sleep because I hadn't done anything wrong but I feel like I have, Frankie!” Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck and hugged him. “I'm not mad, Gee. You need to tell me things. We need to have conversations. That's how good relationships work. Communication.” Gerard hugged him back and sighed. 

He hated lying, but he was getting used to it (as it's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off). It was for Frank’s own good, anyway. He would kill Gerard if he knew what really happened. Frank pulled out of their hug and wiped Gerard’s tears, trying to not cry himself. Gerard looked so.. depressed. It was starting to make him sad. He smiled at Gerard and Gerard smiled back. The pair cuddled under the blanket in silence until Gerard passed out in Frank’s arms. Frank rolled out of Gee’s grasp and walked over to his notepad sitting on the window sill. He'd mentally written the last part of his song. He'd decided on naming it ‘Joyriding’, as it what what he felt Gerard was doing with his heart.

‘“Yeah, its cool. I'll be okay.”  
I felt your pain wash over me.  
Dry your eyes and hide my shakes,  
I hate the look that's on your face.

(ending)  
This is not the end for us.’

-

Joe rubbed his eyes and squinted against the harsh sunlight peeking through his curtains. What had happened last night? He flung some moist, slightly-crunchy-with-sweat washcloth onto the floor and stumbled to the kitchen to get Advil for his pounding headache. Instead of Advil, he entered the kitchen to find his best friend and long-time crush, Andy Hurley, standing in front of the stove, stirring a pot. “Andy..?” Joe questioned as Andy spun on his heels in surprise. “Hey, Joey. You feeling better?” Andy smiled, walking over to Joe and feeling his forehead. Joe glanced to the clock. 12:43.

“Yeah, I guess..” Joe attempted to smile back, but even that hurt his head somehow. “Advil?” Andy asked. Joe nodded “First cabinet, third shelf.” The muscular boy got on his tip-toes to reach the pain medication, before grabbing a glass, filling it with water and handing Joe two pills with the glass. Andy went back over to the stove and shut it off, taking the pot and draining the water inside. 

Smiling, Andy set down a bowl of pasta in front of Joe. Joe smiled tiredly and poked at the pasta with his fork, winding it around the utensil aimlessly. After eating half his pasta and almost throwing it back up, Andy told Joe to put on a movie while he cleaned up. Joe chose some stupid comedy that he'd watched too many times and plopped it in the DVD player. Andy finished in the kitchen after a few minutes, and the pair sat beside each other while watching the movie in silence; neither wanted to or felt the need to talk about the previous night. Joe was fine now, and that was all Andy really cared about. He just hoped he could keep it that way and figure out a way to keep the peace with his girlfriend


	16. and you’re angry (and you should be)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: One More Light by Linkin Park  
> (RIP Chester, forever in the minds and hearts of those who loved him. He had a deep impact on many people (including me) and he was an inspiration to all.)  
> #fuckdepression
> 
> Anyway, hello beautiful people of the internet, and welcome to yet another sad attempt at an angsty chapter! A happy ending is within reach soon, though (I promise)

Frank dropped his school bag on the kitchen table and stomped to the fridge. Ray and Mikey had skipped today, something about wanting to have a day all to themselves, which Frank wasn't too pleased with, and Gerard had ditched him. He didn't know what was going on. It had been just over a month since their fight about the coffee shop girl, Lindsay, and Frank had thought things had been going well. And they had been. Until they weren't. For a few weeks, Gerard wasn't doing anything off, but the past few days he’d been skipping classes, be home after midnight, not talk to Frank about anything he'd been doing, and sometimes even ignore him altogether. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't like it one bit. He was worried. About Gerard, about their relationship, about everything. 

So here Frank was, angrily sifting through leftover takeout and mouldy meats, trying to find something edible in this fucking abyss of a household that was sheeted by expensive rugs, plants, and paintings. At least it was December 22nd today; Christmas break officially started on Monday, and it was Friday today. No school for two weeks. Frank decided that he and Gerard would probably be fine, as they would have time to work things out over the holiday. 

Upon hearing angry crashes and shuffling, Mikey and Ray stumbled downstairs, both with disheveled hair and beet red faces. They were out of breath and standing behind the angry midget. “You good, Frank?” Ray asked, placing a hand on Frank’s back. Frank grunted and shrugged him off, slamming the fridge door and moving on to search the cupboards for any sort of edible substance. Frank would honestly eat a tire at this point and it made him angrier that he could practically hear Mikey rolling his eyes “C’mon, Ray. Let's go back upstairs.” Ray gave one last glance towards Frank, which was returned with an angry glare, and Ray nodded. The pair exited the room and Frank was left to wallow in his anger and sadness directed towards Gerard.

-

     "Mikey Way, in the future you are going to move to LA, get a job in music…. And… marry someone who you'll have a daughter with!” Ray stirred his cornflakes and smiled at Mikey, who was rolling his eyes and eating his own cereal of choice, Froot Loops. “That's bullshit, Ray. You can't seriously believe that, can you?” Mikey argued through his cereal. Frank snorted some milk out of his nose and began laughing “Nah, that's what he wants to do with you, Mooi-key!” The short raven haired boy almost fell off his chair as Ray glared daggers at him, raising a hand to smack his foster brother. Frank yelled as Ray caught his shoulder with his palm.

Frank’s screech was cut off as a grumpy Gerard stomped into the kitchen. Frank scooted his chair away from Ray and smiled at Gee who actually smiled back tiredly. As Gerard walked to the coffeemaker, Frank realized how.. thin?.. Gerard looked. ‘Had Gerard eaten at all the past few days?’ Frank thought to himself, realizing a second later that he left his own cornflakes beside Ray. He grunted and tried to reach them, basically laying on the island. 

Ray smacked Frank’s hand away and Frank let his forehead smack against the cold granite of the island. Mikey and Ray finished their cereals, but Frank hadn't been allowed to eat the rest of his.. Something about having to learn to be polite to siblings or shit like that. He was going to talk to Gerard too, but by the time he'd sat up from his cereal-induced temper tantrum, Gerard had already disappeared upstairs again. Frank rolled his eyes and decided to join Mikey and Ray, who were going to hang out at Andy’s with a couple of people from the group. 

-

There was something going on with Joe and Andy. Frank could probably cut the sexual tension between the pair with a knife, if he tried. A dull, plastic, yellowing-white, cafeteria knife-that-everyone-had-sifted-through-to-get-the-good-knives-knife, to be exact. Andy had lugged his Xbox upstairs to his room, and him, Frank, Ray, Brendon, and Josh played some gory horror game that Andy’d got a few years ago for Halloween, while Tyler, Mikey, Dallon, and Patrick watched and talked amongst themselves.

Tyler yawned and stretched, squirming away from his place in Josh’s lap, trying to not interrupt the other boy's game. Andy and Brendon yelled commands to their friends, thumbs aggressively tapping away at their controllers, and the rest of the boys laughed and cussed at each other, only stopping their game to chug pop and stuff chips down their throats. Tyler stood and walked out of Andy’s bedroom, wandering down to his kitchen to get a glass of water. He shut the fridge door and almost dropped his water on the cool tiles in shock. Patrick was leaning on the counter next to the fridge, sifting through week-old magazines and flyers.

“Hey. What’s goin’ on, ‘Trick?” Tyler smiled at the other kid after recovering from his shock and taking a sip of his water. Patrick smiled and leant back on the counter. They opened their mouth and took a breath, as if to say something, but nothing came out. “What’s up?” Tyler asked. Patrick shrugged “I need advice,” they started. Tyler nodded and motioned for Patrick to continue. “So, how did you and Josh become a thing?”

“Uhh.. When he moved here from LA six years ago, he didn't have any friends. We were in the same class that first year, and our math teacher decided to partner boys with girls for a project, and I was lucky enough to be partnered with a quiet, shy girl named Jenna. We kept talking even after the project was completed, and we became friends, and ‘Jenna’ turned out to be the man of my dreams” Tyler dramatically recited his and Josh’s love story that Patrick had heard many times, being sure to drag out the word ‘man’. They needed more though. “But like, how did you two start dating?” Patrick asked

Tyler shrugged “After a year, he told me he was trans. He seemed really uncomfortable, so I told him I was gay, ‘cause I figured that a secret-for-a-secret might not be that bad. He told me he was too, and we hugged it out. I helped him come out to his family and school. Our school was really unsupportive, though, so his Mom moved him to another school and he got a fresh start there as Josh. We were still best friends, and after another year or two, I got up some foolish courage and kissed him on the cheek. Things kept slowly progressing from there, and he asked me to be his boyfriend a few months later.” Tyler finished his story with a smile and elbowed Patrick on the shoulder “Why? Got some boy troubles, ‘Tricky?”

Patrick shrugged, rolling his eyes jokingly and pushing Pete to the back of his mind for the moment. “Just curious. We should go back up..” They started. Tyler nodded and the pair changed the subject, strolling up the stairs again and chatting casually about nothing. Patrick decided that they knew what they wanted now, and that they’d made a mistake. They only hoped that Pete still wanted them. 

-

Pete stumbled angrily to the door. Somebody was repeatedly knocking, and quite frankly, he wasn't pleased. Like, if somebody doesn't answer the first few times, you don't keep fucking knocking. Isn’t that just common knowledge? He pulled the door open with more strength than he though he had within his small body and nearly shat himself when he saw none other than a red-eyed Patrick Stump slouching on his doorstep. 

“Patrick..?” Pete started but was cut off by Patrick wrapping their arms around him. “I'm sorry, Petey.” They whispered. Pete let out a contented sigh and leaned his back up against the doorframe and hugged Patrick back. Patrick pulled back after a few moments and looked into Pete’s eyes. They smiled and Pete smiled back. “‘Trick, I didn't mean to ruin our friendship.” Pete gazed at his shoes guiltily but Patrick put a finger under his chin and lifted his head. “You didn't, Pete. I needed to think.” Pete blinked and they continued “And I have. I know what I want.” Pete’s anxiety reached a new high as Patrick took a breath, but quickly melted as Patrick’s soft lips pressed against his in a flurry of sexual tension and need, which dissipate as the tension became a much stronger sensation neither could fully describe.

-

Patrick and Pete laid atop Pete’s messy bedsheets in the dim light of the lamp on his nightstand. Pete told Patrick about what he'd done to Mikey and how fucking terrible he felt. Patrick told Pete that, yeah he'd done a shitty thing, but Mikey wasn't the type to hold grudges. The younger boy was a master of forgiving and forgetting, and perhaps Pete would one day be forgiven. “I just feel so awful. I should've been the one to try to commit suicide, ‘Trick. He doesn't deserve this. I do.” Patrick glanced at their new boyfriend and sighed “You've got some troubled thoughts, man. And the self esteem to match.” They cupped Pete’s cheek with their palm and Pete shut his eyes and leaned into the gentle touch of Patrick’s hands, chuckling tiredly and shaking his head. 

“What a catch,” 

-

Frank walked into his door. Again. Rolling his eyes, he looked up from his phone and opened the door, surprised to see Gerard reading on his bed. Frank stepped in and shut the door quietly behind him. Gerard looked up and smiled a tired smile and Frank smiled back. Maybe things could go back to the way they had been after all. He plugged his phone in and set it down on the side table, sitting down beside Gerard. Frank watched him for a moment, before settling himself up against Gerard and leaning his head on the other boy’s shoulder. Gerard leant his head to rest on Frank’s and he continued reading. 

Frank was awoken from his doze when Gerard shifted so that he could set his book down on the floor and shut off the light. He sat up and barely saw Gerard smile in the moonlight. Gerard laid down on his side, and Frank wrapped his arms around him, settling his head in the crook of the other’s neck. “I love you, Gee-Bear.” Gerard giggled at the stupid nickname and shut his eyes. “Love you too, Frankie.” He was asleep within minutes, but Frank couldn't end up calming himself, guilt gnawing away at his stomach, as if he’d swallowed a rat. All he could think about was how he could feel Gerard’s ribs shift beneath his skin as he breathed, and how thin Gerard really was.


	17. it’s never getting any better than this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Rat a Tat by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Guys the countdown is on.. 7 days until I see FOB live!!
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It’s been an.. adventure.. trying to finish these last few chapters, but I officially only have 3 more points to cover in the second last chapter and I’m done for good. FUn fact, I actually wrote the final chapter first, as I was going to post it as a one-shot, but then I had the idea to turn this into an actual series. Yeah, I’m sure that’s interesting (not) lol. I’m also beginning to write another fic atm, and the first chapter should be up within the next week, but don’t quote me on it lol. Thanks so much for the support, love you guys <3
> 
> ALso, possible trigger warning for eating disorders!!!  
> Please don’t hurt yourselves and eat (I know telling an anorexic person to eat is like telling a cancer patient to just get better, but I do care about you guys and I want to see you all happy. Stay alive, okay?)
> 
> Edit (21/10/17) I just posted the first chapter of my newest fic, and it would mean a lot to me if you could go check that out. Love you <3

Frank rolled over and opened his eyes to see that the pitch black blanket of night that covered the world was still there. He fumbled through the shit on his nightstand to find his phone. He pressed the button to turn it on, and hissed as the brightness momentarily blinded him. Frank recovered and read the time. 3:13. Fucking amazing, thanks brain. Frank was so glad he'd woken up for no fucking reason at three in the morning on a Saturday, especially during Christmas Break. Oh, joy. He decided he was thirsty, and with that, he stumbled out of his bedroom and down the stairs.

He entered the kitchen to see John sitting at the island. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were tired, dark bags telling Frank that his foster father hadn't slept in a long time. John looked up as Frank stepped into the room, lifting his glasses and rubbing his eyes, smiling tiredly at his foster son. “What's goin’ on, kiddo?” The man closed his laptop and took a sip of his long-cold coffee.

Frank shrugged and sat across from John. “I guess I'm just worried about Gerard.” John nodded and motioned for him to continue. “I don't think he's been eating much- or anything at all.” John nodded and commented “He’s been upset about something recently. I thought it was something to do with his brother, but Mikey's been much happier the past few months, so I'm not too sure what's going on.” Frank shrugged, then stood to get the glass of water he'd gotten up for. 

Sitting back down, he decided to tell John about how Ray’d helped to get Mikey back to a better mental state. “I've noticed the pair of them are closer now.. a bit too close.” John chuckled and Frank joined in. Ray and Mikey definitely hadn't been very.. subtle.. in their affection for each other, that was sure. John took a last sip of his cold coffee and set the mug down with a sigh. “So.. What're you doing up?” Frank motioned to his foster father’s laptop.

John sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly once again. “Things aren't very good at work,” John began, yawning. “Shitty, actually. Things are fucking awful.” Frank furrowed his brows in confusion. John worked in law, and his office had actually been one of the most successful in all of Jersey; the reason the Toro’s lived in their almost-mansion with their obnoxiously long big-ass driveway and tall planters in front of their giant, white, French double doors that led into the home.

“Business has been slow, Frank. Awfully slow. I don't know how much longer I can keep lying to you all, either.” John ran a hand through his hair and slumped his shoulders “If things don't get better soon, we’ll lose the house. Rachel’s a nurse; but she doesn't make enough to hold this up on her own. Even though the house is almost paid off, we still don't own it. And even though we could move, we couldn’t take you and the Way boys with us.” He finished vomiting his words and took a shaky breath before regaining composure “So I'm doing what little work I have as best as I can, and I'm looking to see if I may be able to get a job elsewhere.”

Frank nodded as he took in the seriousness of the situation. He knew that Rachel and John had loads of money. Far too much for three people- or even the six of them. But if John ended up being out of work, that money would only last for so long, and who knows, maybe the old lyric was true; ‘that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone’. Frank knew that he’d been throuh hell and back, but now that he had a nice life with a loving family, he didn’t want to lose it, despite the struggles. John stood and took his mug over to the coffee maker to create more of beautiful, brown liquid before turning to Frank and resting a hand on his shoulder. “You don't need to worry, Frank. I'll take care of it, okay?” Frank nodded and finished his water. 

“You also don't need to do anything about it. We’ll be okay, and we won't let you or Gerard and Mikey go. I'm going to find a way to do this.” He smiled and stood, glancing at the clock. 3:47. He decided that sleep might just come back for him if he laid down soon. He smiled at John again and took a step towards the door. “Frank?” John called. “Hmm?” He turned and yawned tiredly. 

“Don't tell anyone about this, okay? I'll work through it.” He sighed and added “I’m sure Gerard’ll be okay, too. Things will all work out in the end. Talk too him, though. Soon. If anyone can get through to him, it’s you.” Frank nodded and after a moment, he stumbled back up the stairs to his room, wondering the entire time if this could possibly be the last time he would walk in these halls. He shook his head. He was being silly; the Toro’s couldn't really lose their almost-mansion. Right?

Frank never ended up sleeping. He'd binge watched Reddit horror stories on YouTube all night. And he was having a great fucking time until his phone died. Frank plugged it in and dropped it haphazardly on the floor, falling back onto his bed, then looking over to Gerard’s sleeping figure beside him after a moment. Frank swore he could see his boyfriend’s bones through his tattered black shirt. He decided he'd talk to Gerard about it tomorrow. He needed to. He couldn't lose his boyfriend to something stupid like this.

-

Gerard squinted his eyes against the sun and decided at that moment that he and Frank were getting blinds. Enough was enough of this bullshit. He. Needed. Sleep. It was bad enough that he'd see Frank looking at him with those sad, sympathetic eyes. Now that his insomnia was returning, it was ten times worse. He couldn't do anything fucking right at this point. He rolled onto his side and saw Frank cuddling with his pillow beside him. He leant over and kissed his cheek, then got up to take a piss.

‘You fat faggot. You seriously can't be contemplating eating, right? What have you done to deserve it?’ The mirror screamed. Gerard pinched at the skin on his stomach. He could see his ribs now, but it wasn't enough. He was hurting people he cared about, so surely he deserved to hurt too, right? Gerard shook his head and let his shirt fall back into place on his body. He shut his eyes and splashed water on his face. 

He almost jumped out of his skin as he felt arms wrap around his waist and he looked in the mirror to see Frank rest his head on Gerard’s shoulder. “Please talk to me,” Frank whispered. Gerard just hung his head, before shuffling out of the other boy's grasp and walking downstairs, grabbing his jacket and stuffing his socked feet into a pair of beat up converse. Gerard then blindly stumbled out the front door into the freezing December air.

-

The cold nipped at his face, but Gerard barely noticed. He stepped into the cover of the forest of trees about 10 minutes from the Toro’s and the wind immediately picked up, as if it knew Gerard had some form of protection but just wanted to fuck with him a bit more. He wandered in the woods until he found it; the treehouse Tyler and Josh had built a few years ago. He climbed the ladder and sat quietly in his wooden fortress, listening only to the slight whistling of the wind being sliced by the tree branches. He ran his fingers over weathered words engraved on the floor. ‘T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D’. Gerard decided that, even though he had no clue as to what Josh or Tyler were terrified of, he was terrified too. Except that what he was terrified of, was in his own head, and he couldn't rid himself of it. No matter how hard he fucking tried.

-

Stumbling back into the warmth of the house shocked Gerard and he instantly regretted staying out for so long. Shutting the door, he kicked off his snow-crusted shoes and rubbed his arms to try and create friction. Having less body fat sure had it's disadvantages, but he deserved this. Every fucking bit of it. Right? Rachel and John lad left for work by now, judging by the dead silence of the house, and he figured that the other boys were asleep. Gerard sat himself at the kitchen island and sipped at a glass of water while scrolling through Facebook feeds absentmindedly. 

The guitars startled him at first, but he figured that Ray was practicing. Then he heard another guitar join in. They strummed a few chords before one started to play an insanely good riff, followed by Frank’s unmistakeable laugh being joined by Mikey’s and Ray’s. He wandered downstairs to where Ray had a small ‘studio’ for them to play whatever instruments they had. He stood at the base of the stairs and watched.

Mikey was holding a bass and was noodling a bit, while Frank and Ray were trying to coordinate their own little pieces into something that could be considered music. The three laughed every time one of them fucked up on something, and most of the time it was Frank. He was getting extremely into a progression he was strumming and he laid down on his back while Ray and Mikey added their own into it. Gerard guessed he got a bit too into the moment, as in a bit of an emotional part of the progression, Frank arched his back and moaned. Fucking moaned. 

Ray and Mikey got really into it too at that point and just strummed their hearts out, but Gerard’s mind was still on Frank moaning. Not that he had a problem with it, he was only slightly jealous that other people besides him heard such noises from Frank. Gerard decided to let it go, and he took a few steps forward and joined the ‘circle’ of head banging boys. Frank was back up on his feet and smirking at Gerard, while Ray and Mikey chuckled at their friends, and for a moment, each of their minds were taken off the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHoops sorry for the forest fic reference I threw in there (that fic made me bawl my eyes out three separate times while I was reading it lol)


	18. the world will come around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Lullabye by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Well hello beautiful! How are you doing? Good, I hope. If you’re not, just know that I love you and care about you, okay? Things will be okay soon, dear <3 
> 
> Happy birthday, Frank Iero!! A hero of mine and of many definitely deserves an amazing 36th <3 Happy Halloween to everyone, too. Idk about you, but I’m going to watch spooky movies with my dad and scare small children lol
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, I saw Fall Out Boy in concert on the 25th (which was amazing btw, I love them with all my heart) and on the 27th I went on a road trip to America to see a football game which was awesome.
> 
> Love you all, and stay safe, okay? <3<3

Patrick finished lining their lips and applied lipstick next. They used a pale pink-purple that their sister had gotten for them last week when she'd gone to the mall. They stepped back to admire their work and smiled. Patrick would've never thought that his would be where they'd be now, but they were proud that they'd made it. They could finally be themselves and be happy. They’d never had that before.

They had on a pastel pink dress with green vines and white flowers on the bottom that faded towards the top, and was black around the bust. They'd added a brown braided belt and thought they looked pretty great. Then it hit them; what would Pete think? They shook their head, immediately dismissing the negativity from their mind. Pete wouldn't care. He'd smile and tell Patrick they looked great. He always did. Pete was the most caring and accepting person they'd ever met. 

Pete wouldn't care. And that was why Patrick was wearing this. Patrick always could be themselves around Pete. Pete, who had gone on a week-long trip to Florida to visit an ill cousin during the beginning of Christmas break, and had just gotten home the previous day. The pair had texted all night, and they decided that Patrick and Pete should go out on a date sort of thing. Patrick's mom drove them to Pete’s and kissed them goodbye, telling her child she'd be back to pick them up whenever they texted her.

They walked up to Pete’s door and knocked three times, then stepped back and waited. Pete’s mom was leaving the house at the same time and let Patrick in, telling them that Pete was upstairs showering. Patrick made themselves at home, as they had many times before in this household, as Mrs. Wentz left for work. They got themselves a bowl of cornflakes and sat, playing on their phone, until they heard the water shut off and they could hear the sounds of Pete walking upstairs. 

Patrick walked upstairs and knocked on Pete’s half open door, watching him spin around, startled, and pull his shirt down the rest of the way. Pete smiled as he saw Patrick and went over and kissed them gently. “How’d you get in here, ‘Trick?” He looked Patrick up and down and smiled at the smaller kid who returned it. “I picked the lock,” They joked, rolling their eyes, as the both of them knew Patrick had no where near the skills needed to pick a lock. Pete laughed and hugged them “I like your dress.” He whispered into their ear. Patrick just hugged him back tightly, almost giggling at how amazing he was. 

“Thanks, Pete.” 

-

Frank was sitting alone at the island, absentmindedly eating a sandwich, staring at the artwork on the walls and thinking. He’d needed some time alone like this. No distractions, just himself and his thoughts. The Toro’s were on a dinner date with one of John’s new work partners; things were finally falling back into place financially for them. Mikey and Ray’d gone out to see a new movie, and Frank and Gerard had been left alone in the almost-mansion. Gerard seemed to be ignoring Frank today, which was now a common occurrence between them. That was, he thought, until Frank was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by Gerard sitting down across from him.

Gerard smiled and Frank smiled back, then Frank gently pushed his plate halfway between them to offer his boyfriend the other half of the sandwich. Gerard stared at the bread-and-veggie concoction for what felt like hours, battles raging within his mind, before pulling the plate closer to him and picking it up. Frank smiled as he watched Gerard take a bite and set it back down. Gerard offered it back, but Frank shook his head, telling him to finish it. Gerard shrugged and contemplated for a moment more, before picking it back up and finishing the sandwich in a few more bites.

 

Frank took the plate from Gerard and set it on the counter by the sink, then turned back to see a guilty Gerard before him. “Do you want to talk about it?” Frank asked, taking a step forward to where the other boy was sitting and leaning on the island to look into Gerard’s green eyes, which were once bright and full of life, but now seemed dull and grey. If the eyes were a window to the soul, then Gerard’s was dark and dull, as though the light that had once shone there was stubbed and stomped out like a cigarette without a use anymore. Frank figured that was how Gerard felt, too. Gerard sighed and nodded, then stood and hugged Frank tight. “I’m sorry,” He whispered. “I love you, it doesn’t matter. We’ll work through this.” Frank mumbled into his ear. Gerard sighed; they were both talking about different things.

The pair walked into the lounge and Gerard took a seat on the potato, while Frank sat on the arm-side of the couch closest to Gerard. His boyfriend sat cross-legged, eyes gazing down. Gerard sighed and began “I don’t want you to hate me. I just want you to know that I love you.. And I’m sorry, Frankie.” Frank could barely hear the last part, as it was muted by Gerard choking back tears. Frank just nodded, even though he doubted Gerard saw it. Gerard just needed to word-vomit out his feelings. It was just how he was.

“I lied, Frank.” He began. Frank grabbed his hand “I won’t hate you, I promise.” Gerard nodded and took a breath, “That night, it wasn’t just Lindsay trying to kiss me.. I kissed back, Frank. It even went farther than kissing. I cheated on you. More than once.” Gerard’s voice cut out and Frank sat back and took a moment to breathe. He hardly heard Gerard whisper “I’m so sorry,”

They sat like that for what felt like hours. Gerard’s head hung in shame and Frank sitting back in shock. Frank sat forward and rubbed his eyes, then stood and walked towards Gerard. Gerard looked up and was surprised by Frank sitting in his lap and wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck. 

They held each other tightly for a while, tears flowing freely, until Frank kissed Gerard and Gerard looked Frank in the eyes, slightly confused as to why Frank still could even bare to talk to him. Gerard knew he could barely look himself in the mirror without hating himself, so how Frank could do it was beyond him. Frank truly was the glue that held him together at this point. “What’s done is done, Gerard. I’m not mad. We’ll get through this, okay?” He smiled and hugged Frank tighter, while Frank just laid his head into the other’s neck. “You’re really not mad, Frankie?” Gerard whispered. Frank just smiled into Gerard’s messy hair.

“Trust me,”


	19. where did the party go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: Where Did The Party Go by Fall Out Boy
> 
> We’re in sight of the finish line, guys. Thank you for sticking with me. 
> 
> Can I just tell you, that Stranger Things 2 is so fucking amazing and you need to watch it right now please it’s so good!

8:14 pm, New Year’s Eve

Ray ran to the door once the bell was rung. Outside were seven snow-crusted, smiling boys, all dressed in their ‘finest’ clothing, which consisted of skinny jeans and sweatshirts, in an attempt to brave the cold. Ray stepped back and in came Pete, Dallon, Brendon, Andy, Joe, Tyler, and Josh. Ray led them into the lounge, which was decorated with balloons and glitter that wouldn’t leave the Toro household for years to come. 

Inside was Bob, drinking whatever alcohol he could find, Mikey, trying to set up streamers, Patrick, who was taking down all of Mikey’s streamers just to bother him, a now-blonde Gerard, complaining to Frank that he was most definitely full and not to worry about him anymore, and Frank, who was practically shoving any and every food down Gerard’s throat at this point. 

Mikey gave up his attempt to put up streamers and ended up throwing the roll at Patrick, who complained that he’d ruined their hair. Mikey just rolled his eyes and turned, only to realize that he’d walked right into Pete. Pete Wentz. Mikey had no anger directed towards Pete anymore, it was Gerard he was worried about. His brother could definitely be protective, especially when someone had driven his baby brother to try to commit suicide. 

“Mikey, I..” Pete stepped back and gazed at his socked feet. Mikey took a breath and glanced at the now-whitening-and-bumpy scars on his wrists. ‘You’re stronger than that, Mikey. Make the situation right.’ Mikey heard his grandmother in his mind and he smiled. “Pete..” He wanted to say more, but nothing came out. Things really had changed so much.

“I.. I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t mean those things I said, and that I’m sorry. I’m an idiot and I know that I can’t take it back. I was a jerk, and I never thought you would’ve..” They both glanced to Mikey’s arms and Mikey hugged himself. After a moment, Pete looked Mikey in the eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I.. Uh.. Wanted you to know that I really do still care about you, I always have, and it’d be great if we could still be friends. I know I’m an asshole, I just don’t want you to hate me, Mikey. 

Mikey took a breath, then stepped forward and hugged Pete. He felt as though he wasn’t just forgiving Pete, but forgiving himself as well. Things were good now, and he had no space in his life for grudges or for harbouring hate for Pete. Things would be so much easier this way. “I forgive you, Pete.” And for the first time since Mikey’s suicide attempt, the both of them felt a weight lift off their shoulders. Maybe things could truly get better after all.

-

9:21 pm

Around an hour after arriving at the Toro household, Dallon got bored of small talk with his friends and went to find Brendon. The pair needed to talk, and what better time than New Years, right? Start the new year with a clean slate. Dallon wandered aimlessly until he saw a cigarette cherry light up outside the front door. He knew it was Brendon immediately; Gerard, Pete, Joe, and Bob had quit, and Josh and Frank were on the couch in the lounge. 

The cold nipped at Dallon’s face as he stepped onto the patio. Brendon turned to face him, a cloud of smoke emerging from parted lips, as Dallon sat beside him and breathed out into the cold, creating his own ‘smoke’. The pair chuckled, and after a few moments of silence Dallon spoke up “When did you kiss him?” Brendon sighed and took a long drag on his cigarette before watching the smoke billow from his face and dissipate into the winter air.

“It was just after you moved here, before we started dating. Ryan was just getting revenge on Spencer. Nothing ever happened between us.” He stubbed out the cigarette and flung it onto the walkway, watching as it disappeared into the blanket of snow. “I promise, Dal.” Dallon nodded and rested his head on Brendon’s shoulder “I figured so. I trust you, Bren.”

Brendon smiled and rested his head on Dallon’s “I’m going to quit.” He started, “As my New Year’s resolution.” Dallon smiled and closed his eyes. “I’m proud of you, babe.” They sat on the cold concrete so long that snowflakes began piling onto their sweatshirts, creating some sort of a cold coat for each of them. Dallon decided that he wasn’t angry at Ryan. If he was trying to break him and Brendon up, he’d obviously failed. Ryan was something in their pasts that didn’t need to be there anymore; a symbol of distrust and unhealthy addiction. He was ready to let that go. They both were.

As Brendon and Dallon were getting up after almost being frozen into statues, they heard a cough from the walkway. Brendon looked up to see none other than Spencer Smith. “Can I come in? I need to talk to Josh and Tyler." Brendon and Dallon exchanged a hesitant glance, but before they could say no, Spencer piped up again, "Please, it’s important.”

-

     Tyler was sitting in Josh's lap, the other boy's arms wrapped around his waist and his chin resting on Tyler's shoulder. Josh was having a conversation with Joe that Tyler wasn't really listening to. He was anxious and tired. So, not wanting to interact with anyone, just settled for just chilling with Josh and drinking a Red Bull. 'How is this any different from our usual nights?' Tyler chuckled to himself.

     Joe wandered off after a while, leaving Josh and Tyler alone in the lounge, as everyone was either outside and huddled in a group while one of them smoked, or in the kitchen, eating, obviously. "You okay, Ty?" Josh whispered in his ear after a moment of silence between them. Tyler just sighed and nodded, closing his eyes and leaning into Josh, as the other boy hugged him tighter. 

CRASH!! 

     Tyler's eyes snapped open and he almost jumped out of his skin as a plate crashed to the tile floor in the kitchen and everyone in the house was silent, as if time was frozen. After what felt like an eternity, people began whispering, but were shushed, then that was followed by footsteps coming towards the lounge. Towards him and Josh. Ray appeared in the doorway, dragging a snow covered boy with him.

     Spencer Smith. Tyler heard Josh inhale sharply. The pair stood and walked over to Ray, only to see that everyone was standing behind him, each knowing that this might end badly. Spencer shook Ray's grip off and took a step to the side. "Look, give me five minutes, okay? Then i'll be gone for good. I promise." Ray looked to Josh, who nodded, then turned and ushered his friends back into the kitchen, giving Josh, Tyler, and Spencer time alone.

     "Josh, Tyler," Spencer took a deep breath before continuing "I wanted to apologize, sincerely, for what I did and what I was involved in. I didn't think about how it would affect either of you, I was only thinking of myself and how I wanted to fit in. It was wrong, and I should've stood up for you guys. So, I'm sorry. I truly am." Tears threatened to spill from Spencer's eyes, but he willed them away as he word-vomited his feelings of guilt and sorrow. 

     Josh took a breath, then grabbed Spencer's shoulder. Both Tyler and Spencer braced themselves for Josh to beat him up, but it never happened. "It's alright, Spencer. I get it, it's hard to fit in. I guess you've learned your lesson." He chuckled, and Spencer joined in after a moment. Tyler sighed and smiled. Things were getting better. They truly were.

     Tyler and Josh walked Spencer to the door and waved him goodbye, wishing him a happy New Year and shutting the door behind him. The group were beginning to talk again, and Tyler's anxiety had gone. The pair walked to the kitchen and talked with everyone again. Nobody questioned Spencer's sudden appearance, they were all just happy that Josh and Tyler were both genuinely smiling again.

-

10:42 pm

     As it approached midnight, Andy and Joe continued to get closer to each other, until one was practically sitting on the other. The others seemed to notice, as the pair would later realize that they weren't exactly subtle in their affection for each other, and began whispering amongst themselves, trying to figure out if they were actually dating or not. Once Andy got up to go to the bathroom, Joe was cornered by a gossip-hungry Brendon, who wrapped an arm around Joe's shoulders and held him uncomfortably tight.

     "So are you and Andy fucking?" Brendon asked, getting straight to the point as always. Brendon never was one to sugar coat anything, something that'd attracted Dallon to him in the first place. Joe spluttered a few incoherent excuses before staring intently at the carpet, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, and mumbling something Brendon didn't quite catch. He jokingly cupped his ear and asked "What was that, Joey?" Joe glared daggers into Brendon's face and made some sassy motion, before pulling away from him and grunting "Yeah, I guess."

Brendon cackled and did some sort of a happy dance. “Josh! You owe me ten bucks!” Josh dramatically rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out, before pulling out his wallet and flinging singular dollar bills (that’s what they have in America right) at him, generally just trying to piss him off. After collecting his winnings off the floor, Brendon walked back to an angry and confused Joe. “You bet on us getting together?” Joe demanded not-so sarcastically. “No, I bet Josh 5 dollars that Andy wasn’t straight, and another 5 that you two would get together before year 12 graduation.” Brendon rolled his eyes and counted his winnings, as if his reasonings made it okay.

Joe rolled his eyes and moments later, the room went silent for the second time as Andy reentered the room. “What did I do this time..?” He asked after a moment of having all his friends stare at him like he’d sprouted a second head. Brendon and Josh exchanged a look, then both broke down, falling to the ground laughing and probably pissing themselves in the process. Joe and Andy exchanged a look, then Joe shrugged and awkwardly kicked at the carpeted floor, realizing how much he hated both the noise and sensation of sock-on-carpet. 

After practically dying of laughter, the ghosts of Josh and Brendon rose and rejoined the conversation, taking jabs at the tension with a metaphorical spork. “So.. Andy..” Brendon turned red as he tried to contain his laughter. “What did you tell them?” Andy asked Joe. Joe shrugged awkwardly and Josh walked over to him and smacked him on the shoulder. “That you two are fucking.” He said matter-of-factly. Andy looked mortified, standing there as he hoped this was all some weird-ass dream.

“You told them what?” He spluttered. Joe smiled a bit and walked over to Andy, in an attempt to fix what he’d fucked up. “C’mon, Andy. Let’s just be open with each other.” And rolled his eyes and crossed his arms “Yeah, with each other. Not with the entirety of New Jersey, Joe.” Joe realized that he was just digging himself deeper into his own grave at this point. “Should we go talk?” He mumbled awkwardly. “Good idea.” Andy rolled his eyes, dragging the other boy out of the room behind him, leaving the rest of the group to gossip. Again.

-

Andy and Joe reentered the room after a long time of the group sitting on the couches and mumbling amongst themselves. They stood sort of apart, but after a while Andy pulled Joe close with an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. “It’s official, guys. You can all stop shipping it, cause it’s sailed.” Andy laughed as everyone smiled, all glad that their friends were now happy.

-

11:27 pm

Ray and Mikey half sat-half laid on the long couch, Mikey in Ray’s lap. After the small celebration for Andy and Joe, the majority of them had gone back into the kitchen for snacks and drinks, but Mikey and Ray just sat together alone in the large room. “I love you!” Ray whispered into the younger boy’s ear. Mikey didn’t say anything, just closed his eyes and leaned into Ray’s warmth. After a few moments, Ray heard something that he questioned hearing, but knew it was real. “Love you too. Forever.”

-

11:56 pm

The group was gathered in the lounge, the television turned onto the news to watch the ball drop for New Years. Frank combed the crowd to find Gerard. Spotting his bleach-blonde hair, Frank hurried over, determined and on a mission. Gerard smiled when he saw him “Hey, Frankie.” Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck and pulled him close, holding him tight. “Gerard, I know things have been pretty crazy recently, but I know that things will get better. And even if they don’t, we’ll always have each other, right?”

“Of course, Frank. What’re you on about?” He asked, pulling back slightly. Frank pulled out of the hug and shrugged. He shoved his hand in a pocket and pulled out a little black box. Gerard furrowed his brows, but gasped as Frank opened it and he saw a pair of golden rings inside. “Promise?” Gerard put a hand over his mouth and nodded vigorously. The pair hugged and after a moment, they put on their promise rings, officially knowing that they’d always have each other. No matter what.

“Ten!”

They admired the rings in the light.

“Nine!”

Gerard smiled at Frank.

“Eight!”

Frank smiled back.

“Seven!”

Gerard watched their friends chanting as the numbers counted down.

“Six!”

Frank laughed at Brendon and Dallon making out in the corner.

“Five!”

Gerard looked back at Frank. 

“Four!”

He really was beautiful when he laughed.

“Three!”

And every other time.

“Two!” 

Frank looked back and him and stepped forward.

“One!”

They closed their eyes and their lips connected in a moment of passion and pure bliss. Fireworks went off outside, illuminating the group of kids inside the almost-mansion.

“Happy New Year!”


	20. and in the end, i’d do it all again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: The Kids Aren’t Alright by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Holy shit guys, can you believe that this is the last chapter?!? I’m really gonna miss writing this, because I honestly had the time of my life. Thank you so much to my friends who’ve been here from the beginning, people who have joined along the way, and even people in the future! This fic definitely isn’t perfect, but it’s been such an amazing learning experience, and I’m so glad that I did it. I love you all so much, and I hope you enjoy this last chapter. I’ll see you soon, darlings!
> 
> Fun fact: the hardest part of this fic as a whole was figuring out a bunch of names that started with the letter “J” for Frank’s caseworker. Idk why you’d want to know it, that’s just something that I figured someone would like to know lol

-20 years later-

Frank jingled the keys in his hand impatiently. He was in a cab coming home from a long, draining tour. Frank loved touring, don’t get me wrong, meeting fans, signings, playing shows, interviews, it’s all great. It’s just that when you’re the frontman, all responsibility falls on you, and Frank didn’t know how not-ready he was for that position until they'd started touring for their previous album. The first half of their current tour, which was the first one for their new album, had lasted for three months, and the second half would start in a month and a half, then last for another three months.

     The tour could’ve (and should've) been better, except that whenever they’d gotten weekends off, it was always such a long trip back to New Jersey that the plane ride there and back just wasn’t worth the effort, so Frank hadn't been home since he'd left and had been stuck on a tour bus with three stinky dudes. Frank’s bandmates had gone home in the tour bus, and Frank had decided to take a cab back to his and Gerard's home. 

He looked out the window at the dark streets and recognized them as his home, allowing his mind to wander. He checked his phone. 11:32 pm. Gee would probably be asleep, knowing him. Even as a teen, Gerard had never really been able to stay up very late anyway, but now that he was getting older, Gerard would awake at the early hours of the morning to work on his comics in peace, before the house began to bustle with their three loud girls, meaning that he'd go to bed at around 7 or 8. Gerard had always been a fan of quiet, and now that he was old enough to understand, he began to agree with his grandmother, who had always told him that the early hours of the morning were the best for calm thinking and when the best ideas came. Frank chuckled, thinking about his husband; the late night Skype calls, the never ending love-texts and updates on their daughters, and photos of Frank's first baby, his now-greying dog, Mama.

Bandit, Lily, and Cherry; maybe that was what Frank missed most about being home. The tree of them were amazing to both him and Gerard. Bandit, the oldest at 7 years old, takes care of her sisters and Daddy Gee, who's always overworking with his new comics and music writing. Lily, the middle at 4, is sassy and dramatic, much like Gerard, but is very sweet and caring. Cherry, their 12-month-old baby, was Daddy Frank's little girl. She was a princess and a bit spoiled, but such a sweetheart. Frank knew that they each deserved the world, and he hated being out of their lives for such a long time, even if he'd gotten to see them over late-night Skype sessions.

The cab stopped outside of Frank and Gerard's house and the cab driver asked if they were at the correct location, breaking Frank from his thoughts and bringing him back to reality. Frank said they were, then payed and tipped the cabbie, thanking him for driving for so long, grabbed his bags and guitar and stepped into the cool autumn air. He made his way up the drive and onto the flagstone walkway they'd installed the year prior, dead leaves crunching under his feet, adding to the crisp feeling of the night. Frank got to the door, finally got his key into the hole after a few attempts, and let himself inside, the smell of home filling his nostrils and making him realize just how much he'd missed his family.

The sounds of quiet cartoons came from the living room, and Frank smiled as he put his bags down. "Daddy Frank?" Came a quiet voice from the hallway. Frank looked up and saw his eldest daughter standing with her stuffie right outside the foyer. He smiled and opened his arms as a gesture for her to come to him, and Bandit ran and gave her daddy a big bear hug.

"What're you doing up so late, Ban?" Frank asked, picking up his daughter and hugging her closer. "Daddy Gee said we could wait up for you." Bandit pulled back and smiled. "And where is Daddy Gee?" Frank asked, lifting one eyebrow, already knowing the answer. "Sleeping.." Bandit looked away, expecting trouble for being up later than her father, but Frank just chuckled and let her down, taking her hand and leading her into the living room, abandoning his bags at the front.

Gerard was laying on the sofa with Cherry on his chest. Lily was curled on the other cushion with Frank's old, greying, brown dog Mama who was wagging her tail excitedly from her space in the girl's arms. There was an extra spot where Frank assumed Bandit had been. Frank knelt down to Bandit and told her to go get ready for bed and that he'd tuck her in soon. Bandit nodded and ran up the stairs, leaving Frank to take he rest of his sleeping family to bed.

-

Frank whistled quietly for Mama to sit, before he laid Cherry down in her crib and gazed at his three sleeping daughters. He picked up the little dog and got lost in thought, something about how things going from the way they were to the way they are was crazy, when he heard someone clearing their throat from the doorway. Frank spun around to see a tired Gerard leaning on the doorframe, smiling at his husband as he'd done so many times before. Frank smiled and gazed at their daughters one last time before joining Gerard in the hallway to cry about how much they'd missed each other, Mama jumping on their legs excitedly.

Frank laid on their bed with his dog cuddled in between his arms, the noises of Gerard brushing his teeth and washing his face lulling him into that state between being asleep and awake. He looked over at the ensuite and saw Gerard finishing up. His husband was just in boxers, so Frank could admire his beauty. Gee had dyed his hair bright red and buzzed it short again, and he had the same old chub on his body, which made Frank especially happy. He definitely preferred this to when Gerard was practically starving himself. 

Gerard shut off the lights in the bathroom and made his way to the bed, illuminated by the lamp on the bedside table. Gerard crawled under the covers with Frank and rolled over so they were facing each other. Frank reached out and held onto Gee's left hand with his own, admiring the reflection of light on their wedding bands. Their promise rings. "I love you." Gee whispered. "I love you too." Frank smiled back, leaning in to peck him on the lips. Gerard shut off the lamp and cuddled Frank close in the darkness. They whispered about nothing in the dark like they used to, just loving the feeling of their bodies being back together again. Gerard slipped into sleep a few minutes later and Frank was left to his own thoughts. 

Despite the struggles they had faced, Frank and Gerard had everything they'd ever wanted. Sometimes, Frank honestly still thought it was his fifteen-year-old self dreaming when he woke up next to the man of his dreams every morning. And now that he was thinking about it, Frank knew that he was definitely the luckiest man alive. No- the luckiest man ever. He'd contemplated it before, but it was that night that Frank decided it for sure. Frank made up his mind, that, no matter how hard things had been to get to this point, he wouldn't change it for the world.

 

Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My newest fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12444831/chapters/28320741


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